Second question on emotional abuse.

[fjbebo]

i just posted the previous question and i have another...
sibling likes to control everyone and every situation. she expects everyone to think the way she does. she reads too much into anything we say, and it upsets her. she has too much expectations. she is or was very thoughtful and would go out of her way to do things for everyone, buy gifts, have surprise partys, all which we never asked for and now she throws it back at us reminding us of all she has done. Then she gets upset and angry and wants to cut off from us.
She forgets about all that we have done for her in more practical day to day stuff.
I cant understand why she is like this. She does not realsise we have been there for her like minions, silently doing things, never reminding her of what we did.
Any thoughts are welcome. Thank you.

[ROSYouralright]

You always put into words what I try to express but can't say SPM. Great post!

[specialmom]

I'm not getting a sense that she is emotionally abusive from this post.  She sounds like she wants acknowledgment for her efforts and since you don't take or want any, that you resent her for that?  That's an unfortunate dynamic but not really abusive in  my opinion.

She may need to pull back a little bit.  In truth, if I threw a party for someone and got them a gift and someone said back 'but we didn't ask you to do that' rather than heaping on the thanks, I'd be really hurt and I too would reconsider if that was where I wanted to share my love as much.  I'd love those people but perhaps would find other people that really enjoyed what I did for them and let me know it.  Ya know?

I hope it works out where everyone can feel good in your family for who they are and what they do.  peace

[ROSYouralright]

It sounds like she is seeking reassurance that she is a good sister. Maybe a little acknowledging will go a long way with her and would save the siblings stress of trying to figure her out