I have been in a relationship for over 22 years. We have 2 children together (16 and 14) and have been married for 18+ years. I am unhappy and I am assuming he is too. He is very passive aggressive and self centred and lashes out at me and kids and makes us feel small. But then will turn on a dime and expect us to all be one big happy lovey family and when we dont warm up to him, he gets sulky and mopey. Whenever I try to talk to him about the state of our marriage he rolls his eyes and comments "here we go again", I have asked him to go to therapy and he has declined saying things along the lines of "are you on glue?! NO!". We also have not been intimate for three months. I can go to bed naked and he has no idea. I feel guilty for wanting to leave our relationship but am so very unhappy. He threatened to hit me in front of our kids and then told them it would be their fault if he had. It took months before he would even discus the incident with me and then would not take ownership of it. He told me that he could nto be help 100% responsible because he told me to back off. I suppose i just need to know that these are good reasons for leaving a relationship of this length. I also would like to hear from people who have left relationships where $$$ is an issue (he makes over double waht i make and I wouldnt be able to support myself and kids on my salary, but dont want to have to depend on him for anything - he can and will be very mean!)
Yes, an unhappy marriage. This does not always mean divorce. Some couples continue to share the same home, yet no longer cohabit. This can be very successful. I even know cases where the partners quietly took lovers. Marriage can take many forms.
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