Sexual Abuse

I was sexually abused as a child. I think I was about 8 or 9 years old. My step father sexually abused me and I can't seem to get over this traumatic situation. I know your thinking how can I get over something like this? I mean this is critical to me. But, I think it's even more critical right after I told my mom. I was around 9 or 10 years old, my step dad who has been living with us since I was almost born, went to jail for a day but he had money to bail out. And I couldn't see him for 2 years. But then he came back to live with us and I just find the whole situation absolutly crazy. Nothing happened after he came back to live with us. But HOW can my mom live with someone like that? I think because she was pregnant with his child. She ended up having twins. And she had no money and no place to go and thats why she ended up staying with him. I developed a "decent" relationship with my step dad all my life and I never knew he would do something like this to me or that it would affect me as I am older now. I'm 23 years old and I see him til this day. He never touched me again after all what has happened. But I have an immense amount of hate towards him. But then I do love him like a father figure in a twisted way. And my question is, how do I go about being strong and just keeping this situation in the back of my mind? Not thinking about it all the time and not let it get to me. I guess, I would like to cope with this the best way possible.

Thank you for your time.

[koukla29]

I really think you should see a counselor.  There are reasons why this is coming up for you now.  You were never protected from him, and it's wrong that you were made to live with him like that.  I really hope you see a counselor.  Best wishes.

[sissie45]

i was abused as a child by my bio-logical father for 5 years. from the age of 7 - 12 and i didnt tell until 12 years later b/c i was told that it happened to my half-brother also after he stopped doing it to me. we went to court 2 years later and he confesed and is serving 35 years in prison for it. but i still deal with today i have 2 kids (girls) and i dont trust anyone!!!!, with them and i cant let go i dont want to go and see anyone about it b/c i dont want to relive it to the extent ya know. i had to when we went to court and that was awful!!! and i dont want to do it again. i try to talk with friends and my husband about it but they dont understand how im feeling. things my husband does to me now reminds me of those times and it makes it hard on us b/c he thinks im comparing him to my dad and im not it is the fact that it takes me back to that time in my life and those feelings. i dont know what to tell you to do, but i know that i couldnt be around my dad as if nothing were wrong if i didnt have to. & i didnt go around him when i became an adult. and he knew why, just nobody else did until years later. so if you dont want to be around him you shouldnt have to be and your mom should understand. im so sorry that you had to go through that. i hate hearing about it happening to kids like is today. it makes me sick to hear it.

you are in my prayers

[Gem17]

I'm almost 30 now and just confronted my step-brother about what he did to me. He touched me and said sexual comments to me ever since my Dad (who passed a year ago) and my step-mom got together when I was 10. I know that I pushed those events so deep down that I never came to terms with it until after my Dad passed. No one knows in my family except my Mom (since she read my journal when I was younger). I'm not dealing with this well. I was also sexually taken advantage of by my step-brother when I was 25- while under the influence celebrating with him coming home from Iraq. When we got back to his place, he picked me up, took me to his room and had his way. I will never forget. I don't even remember everything. I don't even know if that was rape or not... I read these forum posts and I just don't know what to do. Anyone out there that can help or relate??

[maria1990]

I was sexually abused when I was 4 till when I was around 8 by 2 of my uncles my dads brothers my sister that is only a year younger than me was also sexually abused. I learned to talk about it that's how I got over it I talked about everything that happened but I had a chance to say how much I hated my uncles to their face what they dis to me and how I felt in front of my parents. I was 18 when my sisters told my parents:( . I thought that I would have to of had kept that horrible secret with me for the rest of my life but I think actually telling my uncles to their face what they did how they made me feel and how I felt and how I hated them made me feel so much better. I haven't communicated with them since that's for the better mine and my sisters lawyer said it would be too late to arrest them since it's been more that 13 years since it's happened. I'm 21 years old and I feel calm yes I sometimes remember what happened but I also feel calmness that I will never see them ever again. I think that's what you should do because what he did to you was not right. My parents don't talk to my uncles and my grandmother and grandfather won't see us anymore but you know what that's fine with me because I never have to worry about them hurting me ever again