Should I quit my job

[lynn717]

I have been a victim of sexual abuse from many offenders for many years- some time ago.  I am currently working at a job and one of the patients is a possible sexual offender.  He has been doing things to sexually offend employees.  The thing that he is doing is giving me flashbacks of what I have been through.  My previous offender is a very scary person to me. He is so scary that if I saw him today I would quit my job and run somewhere where no one knows me.  The sexual abuse I endures happened over 15 years ago for more than 5 years but I do not speak of it.  I am older and stronger now and will never be a victim again. I am over the age of 30 so this is no longer reportable.  I have been looking up this guy online to make sure that he does not live anywhere near me. About 3 months ago I found his name and address but did not find a picture.  This month due to the issue at work and the flashbacks, nightmares, etc...  I decided to look him up again to make sure he was no where near me.  I found that he is now on the sexual offender registry and saw his recent picture which haunts me. The man at works reminds me of him.   At work I pretent that all is well but I'm not.  It is physically sickening me.  This man has been placed in my care because his previous worker demanded he be removed from her responsiblity due to his sexually offensive comments to her. I agreed to treat him thinking I could handle this but during this time his sexually inappropriateness evolved from comments to behaviors and actions.  I want to quit my job.  He has done nothing to me but I it is awakening memories I tried to forget.  I do not work in a sexual offender program, hospital, or facility because I know I could not work with the same type of people who have hurt me.  Should I quit or should I stay.  I do not get paid much and can not afford counseling.  This months is the worst month for all of this to be happending. I have extensive grief and loss issues and have loss the closest people to me this month. I do not know if I am over reacting due to my hypersensitivity this month and due to my person issues with being sexual abuse.  Or if I should be feeling this way and should quit my job. What do you think???

[Angelinthemorning]

If this man has already been removed from a previous employeer b/c of his actions, I see no reason that it would shock people if you said you did not wish to do work with him.  Obviously you're not the only one who's had a problem with this guy.  

I also think you need to seek out some therapy.  If you are still having flashbacks you need to find a way to better handle your environment.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with seeking out help.  Having someone to bounce thoughts and feelings off of in a controled environment can be extremely helpful for victims of abuse.  I don't think you are over reacting though.  Someone who has been through sexual abuse seem to have a sixth sense when it comes to spotting other "abusers".  

[momagain59]

Do you have a boss that you can go to and be honest with? If so, I would ask to be relieved from working with this client. I would share about your flashbacks and the problems that you are having from working with this man. I would then begin to seek other employment in a safer environment for you.

[RockRose]

I agree with what Margy said.

I would like to add,  though,  that whether you choose to stay or go depends on what kind of a facility you work in.

If you are in a facility where sexual misbehavior is not expected - like, for example if you are a dental hygienist or physical therapist - this guy needs to go.  He can't be passed on to you for your care because he's too offensive for the other worker to tolerate.  That doesn't make sense.

If you are working in a facility that in fact DOES usually see socially inappropriate behavior - drug rehab,  head injury therapy,  for example,  that's a different thing and  it would be expected that redirecting sexual acting out would be part of the therapy.  If this is the kind of field you are in,  really,  Lynn,  I would suggest you find something else because you will be repeatedly exposed to this behavior from various men.  

Best wishes.  This sounds very difficult.

[margypops]

Thank you for this post it may help others who have been going through similar,I am so sorry this has happened to you, have you ever had any therapy /counselling as I think it could help you.I wouldnt call it over- reacting , reacting more like it, possibly you have to get some help with the thoughts about the guy at work who looks like the original abuser,but in fact has done you no harm, you could leave the job but equally it could be a good thing if you were able to face it and stay , The fact you are going online to look up the past offender shows you need to get past this point so I would definatly suggest some help from a Therapist.Maybe others on our forum will have more suggestions for you...