Sibling/brothers sexual abuse

[Annabelle5]

Just found out (although also found out that husband has known about for 18 mos) that when they were 12/10 or 14/12, my older son sexually abused his younger brother.  He is currently hospitalized after a psychotic break last night and stated this during his "assessment" by the doctor of what's been going on/what brought him to the ER.  I was totally stunned and unaware that this has happened, if in fact it has.  The boys/men!? are now 21 and 19 years old.  After my son stated this and I asked for details (as difficult as that was and afraid to hear them if I did), he would not elaborate in any way, just stating that he "sexually-assaulted FREDDY"  when he (himself) or FREDDY was 12, that part was unclear as he only said it ONCE.  When I said I've never heard of anything like that between them, or was this just a story, he said it "was just a story".  
  At the time of his stmt, he was in restraints for attempting to grab a policemen's/security guard's gun to attempt suicide. He was being extremely uncooperative answering the doctors' ?'s and, and many times, answered in a way that I believe thought would get them to remove the restraints.
  He was in the same hospital 18 months ago, again for a psychotic break, was treated for 5 days, prescribed Depakote and Klonopin which he stopped taking about a year ago believing he "doesn't need meds, he can manage without them".
  18 mos. ago, my HUSBAND took him in, and the same "sexual assault" was stated, my husband withholding this information from me, not questioning our younger son about it (the possible victim), and basically just "sweeping the entire incident under the rug".  
  I am at a loss.  Our 21 year old will be in the hospital for probably 4-5 days.  Should we ? his brother first individually?  Wait until he's released and ? them together?  Seek immediate counseling for our younger son (he has done before for anger related/panic/anxiety issues).  Is this another piece to this nightmarish puzzle/life that our family is leading?

  PLEASE HELP!!!

[AnnieBrooke]

I would ask the younger son about it, certainly.  Don't bother to wait until your older son is released.  See a therapist about all of this, so you can develop some plans and some answers.  Try not to make things worse for your younger son than they already are, emotional responses from you (other than supportiveness) will not help.

[Jinx_777]

first of all i am so sorry you are going through this..  shame on your husband for not telling you what was said.  that is going to be VERY HARD for you to come to terms with.
does both of your sons still live at home?
is there any history of drug abuse by your oldest son?  are they screening him for drugs while he is in the hospital?  i would ask for a hair follicle test along with any they would normally do.  this will show you if any drugs have been used in the past 90 days, i believe.
if he has been on drugs this could explain him having mental breakdowns.  the guilt may be consuming him.  
do you think it is possible your son could be gay and is scared to tell you??
as a mom,  i am grasping at straws here to try and help you sort all of this out in your mind.  you do not even have to answer the questions i asked you, but you can at least answer them in your own mind.