Sons molested by 14 year old female

My sons are now 26 and 32, both were molested by two 14 year old females.  The older son was about 8 and the younger 3!  The older son told me when he was 16. At that time, he said it didn't bother him.  However when he was 11 he threatened to kill himself so I put him in an adolescent program.  The program made him worse.
I can't understand why he didn't tell me years earlier.  The one girl babysat for us for two years!

The younger son denied it until just recently.  Both sons have addiction problems and also have panic attacks now.  I feel to blame.  One son is promiscuous and uses women, the other is anti social and can't seem to find a lasting relationship and his last one was with an abusive woman.   Any advice out there.   My family is broken.  

[treazzure007]

most times, the child being abused is told not to tell.  they may even have been manipulated into thinking that the act was part of some friendly act or "game" that they were to do.  then, when the abuse victim discovers that this is no game and that they have been taken advantaged of, ironically they are the one's to feel ashamed and "bad".  it's terrible

no one can really help your sons.  they have to decide when they want to push this tragic past to the back of the line and move on.  even if counseling didn't work the first go round, they should give it another try and continue therapy longterm

[jo929]

Do you think you could get them to go to a meeting where grown ups go. and they try to help each other, the ones that have been abuse as a child sort of like an aa meeting, they really need a counsler  luck  jo

[jo929]

I forgot to ask, did you ever file charges, or did they ever face their abuser, now that they are grown, it mioght do them some good to tell her just how they feel, as she would be a lot older, and uglier  just a suggestion   luck  jo  tell them not to let the abuser thinks she has bent them, tell them thay have nothing to be ashamed of. but she does  luck  jo    I hate abusers