Spousal abuse 37 yrs

[Linda1949]

I'm a  60yr old female who has never been on my own. I'm dependant on my husband for my support and most importantly health insurance. We have 2 businesses that are not finacially stable and I do the bookwork for both companies. I'm intelligent but not proficent in anything (typing, bookkeeping or computers) With the job market and housing sales down I don't know where to get help to support myself. I've got fibromyalgia, osteo-arthritis and hypo-calcemia. My husbands abuse (verbal) is getting worse all the time because I' can't do as much as I use to. Very depressed, have no social life or close friends anymore due to fatigue and not really feeling like leaving the house. My son moved 2000 miles away to work because here in Mich are business is so up and down couldn't support his family.Daughter is in her own world and has her own issues. My husband dosen't know anything about the paperwork or bookkeeping involved in our business always has someone else take care of everything which has cost alot of money over the yrs. due to getting screwed over by people. Have assets but can't sell. I'm deparate to leave.  Are there places that would help me in these circumstances?? Please any help would be appreciated.

Thanks, Linda

[allmymarbles]

You say you have been abused for 37 years. Why didn't you leave long ago? It could not  have been that bad. Is your husband suffering from some illness that is affecting his temperament for the worse? Diabetes or arteriosclerosis are possibilities. I would talk to my family doctor about the problem.

[Judy246]

Linda, you do have choices and the first thing to do is contact your daughter AND son, inform them of what is going on and how you feel regardless of their situation. You are there mother and dedicated your life to raising them and now that you are in need, it's time for you to SPEAK UP and defend yourself. Your husband behavior is unexceptable and abusive and you don't have to put up with it or take it by simply speak up and telling him that his words are hurting and offending you and tell him that he is verbally abusing you and you want it to stop.  Unfortunately, the only place that I can think of is a senior living community, but I think you still have a lot of life in you, before going there. Please, it's time to get your family involved even if you don't like it, even if you are concerned about there life, but they need to step in an help you on what would be the next step to get you out of that negative environment you are in.  Good Luck, Judy

[margypops]

Do you mean places that would take you in,it would make sense to try to get some finances together, if you have assets figure out what you can do. It isnt easy, you are still young enough to have a good life , verbal abuse is very demeaning and can drag you down ,your health is suffering. It may be an idea to google and put in your area you live in,for a place to go , if you are desperate to leave why not tell him and say you wish your share of the assets and business , go to see a Lawyer, they will tell you the legal part to this. Others here may have some other ideas for you, sounds like its time to get going and start your new life . Let us know how you are doing .