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Hi
Need some advise on how to deal with this situation. I have an 8yr old in my first marriage and now my second husband and i have a 2 yr old together.
From the begining my son and him have not get along very well. My second husband is very demanding and strict with my son. He also teases my son a lot which i demanded him to stop everytime he does!
Still has continued after 3 yrs marriage!
Yesterday my husband was watching tv and my son asked if he could see something else. My husband told him he ia the parent so makes the rules! My son got mad and hit my husband on the arm, then my husband grabbed my son by the neck and told him not to touch him ever again!
I am still in total shock! How can he grab my son by the neck! I dont even want to tell my family about it causw they will kick hom out of here in two minutes!
I sat both of them on the couch and tild them to say sorry and never do this again!
But deep inside i still feel this is abuse and violence against my son and i want to know if i should report it to police or what should i do???
Pls help!
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8 Answers
8 Answers
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13167 tn?1327197724
I don't think there's any advise we can offer you.  You saw from the beginning that your son and this man didn't get along, and then you had a baby with him.  

There's nothing we on this board can do to fix this horrible situation for your son.  

Can your son go live with his father's family - maybe grandparents?  This is an awful,  awful situation that he is in.  The man you married and had a baby with should not have any further access to him.
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13167 tn?1327197724
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Avatar universal
I know the feeling, my husband and oldest son (who isnt his) never see eye to eye, and hes always a little harder on him. Its upsetting.. although its never been emotional or phsical abuse. Your in a horrible spot.. one thing you need to keep in mind, is your husband is a man he makes his own decissions and choices and should know better then to put his hands on a chld especially around the neck.. You as a mother should do whatever you have to do to protect your son and NOT let there be a chance for this to get any worse. I know thats your husband, and the father of another child, but YOU as a mother are supposed to proect your son. If I was in your situation I would def take some kind of legal action against this. weather its going to the police, or possibly calling child services (because that is annonomius) <sp? you wouldnt have to carry the guilt of calling to your husband. Its a hard situation, but remember your son needs you! I wish you the best of luck and hope everything works out for you!!
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134578 tn?1455656688
I would put the child ahead of the husband, for sure.  A child, by all rights, relies on his parent to protect him.  You are the only one who will.  If it means saying goodbye to your short-tempered spouse, well, he made his bed and can lie in it.  Your child has no choice in the matter.  His protection should be paramount in your mind.
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Avatar universal
my step dad was the same way to me and my brother always favored my lil sister since she was his trust me from experience if you don't do something now it will only escalate as your son gets older my dad choked my brother while pinning him against the wall by his neck and it was over stupid reasons my mom just sat and watched! I had so much hate for her and so much resentment and so did my brother he luckily broke himself free if you are not careful your son could get seriously hurt when your not there and you'll be the one to pay the price any adult who could do that to a child once deserves no second chance cuz the next one could be their life whether you think he's capable of it or not
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535822 tn?1443980380
I agree with all, this isnt going to change ,your son gets the precedent,protect him ..
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535822 tn?1443980380
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212161 tn?1432037254
plz get your son out of it, there may not be a next time , if your not around, your son needs you to protect him, GOD gave you this sweet child to love and protect. plz dont wait for your son to be alone wirth him and something really bad happen, think about this if he will treat your son like that with you there what will he do if your not there?
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Avatar universal
this man has already showed he is abusive there is no real reason to wait and see just who he will abuse next. As the boys mom you really have to protect him and protect yourself. If he can do that to a defensless child what can he do to you when he gets mad at something you have done. If there was real love there you yourself would not wonder about calling the police and he sure would not have put his hands on your sons kneck in an atempt to secure is his place in the house he would accept him as his own son. It is time to get out of a relationship that just is not working. Fear is in no way to live or raise a family.
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I would leave any man in a second if I saw him putting his hands on my son. I would put my son before ANYBODY
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