Subtely emotionally abusive mother

I've just recently realized with the help of a few friends that my mother has been emotionally abusive all my life. She's a wonderful person, and a great mom, except her temper is so extreme and at times violent, that everyone around her is afraid of her and can't really open up to her. You never know what's going to set her off. It's the tiniest things most of the time. She and my Dad are getting divorced after 25 years of marriage because she's so abusive to him he can't take it anymore, but she still thinks that everything that's ever gone wrong in their marriage is his fault. She's trying to take him for all he has, and I can't let her do that to him because it's completely crushing his spirit.
What I want to know is, does anyone have advice for a way to get her into therapy? I've confronted her before about all this, and I thought she had listened to me, but it turns out she told someone else about it and made it sound like I was just a dumb kid blowing things out of proportion and she had just been humoring me. (I am 23 years old, not a child or teenager, so this was especially inappropriate.) I'd appreciate any advice! Thanks.

[AnnaE]

You can decide when you want to address it. Since it is a recent concern, consider talking to a professional. There is no doctor on here, but you can try the mental help expert forum.

[AnnaE]

Also consider private counseling, or group therapy. Both of these can be very beneficial.
Write back if you need for us to listen, or to give you feedback on how to take care of yourself.

[YogiDharma]

For you to become aware of what has been going on in your life is the first step to taking responsibility for your own life.

As AnnaE suggests... seek some counseling for yourself. That will give you tools in how to help your mother. I highly recommend you get a book called "Dance of Anger" written by Harriet Goldhor Lerner, Ph.D.

It is targeted on how to heal and deal with patterns that are based in anger and how to change the patterns into a loving supportive relationship. Also, it will give you some understanding as to why your mother reacts and acts the way she does.

There is always a reason for why and the first step to helping her is to find a way for you to heal.