Violent relationship 9yrs ago. Ex applied to courts to have contact with my son. I'm scared!!!!

9yrs ago I was in a violent relationship for 3 1/2 yrs. I was 15 when I met him, he told me he was 18, but then told me wks down the line he was infact 21. Everything was ok for the first month. But then he became paranoid, possesive and accused me of cheating with anyone and everyone!! He slapped me once and tryed to hit me with a stick! His brother witnessed this. Then I had fallen pregnant at the age of 16, young I know, but my son is my world! After baby he became more and more violent. Dragging me by my hair, punching me in ribs, slapping me, he put a knife upto my throat, he even went for me with baby in arms. I had to quit job as he locked me in flat! He smoked cannabis alot!!! And I think he was dealing from the flat, as I found a huge bag of cannabis hidden in the cupboard!! People dragging him from the flat beating him up infront of me, and him getting attacked outside while I was with him! He even took money from his son that had been given to us to by baby clothes ect to buy cannabis! The day I finally left, we had an arguement before hand, I wanted to visit family but he said we didnt have any money (because him smoking cannabis!!) Anyway I accepted that he said no, but he just couldnt resist hitting me again, because I had answered back! He pushed me on floor hit me on head with his hand, kicked me in tummy, he then picked up a pram toy (the one's where you clip it to the front of the pram) It was solid! And he was going to hit me over the head, I screamed and begged him not to. He told me he would scar me before I got the chance to leave him!! I ran out back garden fell on my hands and knees crying, he apologised BLAH BLAH BLAH!!! After things calmed down I said to him I wanted to go phone my mum at phone box to let her know I couldnt come to visit her. I took my son with me, I rung mum, told her he hit me again and I wanted to leave him. She told me to go somewhere safe, i quickly ran to bus stop as a bus was coming, but I looked back and he was running after me. I got on the bus in time and told driver to GO!!! Went friends and my big bro picked me up, and then next day, my mum payed £300 to get me to her in a taxi!! He had my number and kept ringing me, a few times I answered and he said he was going to kill us both when he found me!!! I then changed number and have not heard from him by phone or letter since. In 2006 he applied for a contact order, he represented his self but then never turned up in court, so it was dismissed! I obviously told solicitor my worries! Anyway, on the 21st of dec 2010 I had letter from court, he is trying for a contact order again. This time he has a solicitor. I am so scared! Thing is, there is something I have never told anyone. I only told my mum just 3wks ago!! When I was with my ex, it was a month and a bit before I left him, he forced me to have sex with him. I said no to him, I cryed a little, but then just let him, there wasnt a struggle. He pulled my hair a little, and said to me he needed sex. I let him because I was scared of him hitting me again, was it rape?? My mum said it was, but I'm confused because there was no struggle and didnt think it would be classed as rape? My mum has told me maby I should report, but it is my decision I am really scared now, because of him taking me to court. Do I open up and tell someone else what happened, I am scared they will not believe me as I did not report it sooner. I am confused, but I really dont want someone like that near my son. He also knows what city I am in. He does not know my address, well I hope not! I have to move as I dont feel safe, he may be at court and I really dont want to come face to face with him. I am worried he may follow me back home after. I dont know what to do.

[AnnieBrooke]

Get legal help, of course.  Get to a safe house.  It seems odd that he would be able to reapply for contact, since he forfeited last time, so you should ask your legal representative about that.  I would tell the whole story to your legal counsel and see if he or she recommends you report the rape.  I think you should.  Start today, fight fire with fire, and stay safe.

[mama2fouralmostfive]

Thats what I thought, but my solicitor said to me, he had only tried once before. Had he tried a few times before and never turned up then the judge would have turned him away. I'm sick and tired feeling scared, I can't go on like this anymore. You're right! Fight fire with fire, I need to be strong and do whats right! I'm not only scared for my son, but for my other four children. My ex would do anything to get back at me for leaving him!

Thank you for you'r advice!

[margypops]

yes you do need legal help here, if he is this dangerous you do need to make sure reports are made with police and you move to be with other people and family .Good luck

[inga511]

Mama-get the best lawyer you can and write down as many dates times, witnesses you can think of. Go to woman's abuse shelter. They offer SO much help. Don't let that monster near your babies!

Inga