Was I abused???

[TinaLamay]

This is a serious question so please give me serious answers.
I don't know if I was abused because I grew up with it and it was normal. Nothing sexual was ever done to me but when I was in second grade my dad started to hit me. NOT spank me. He hit me on my head. He'd hit to top of my head with his fist like a hammer. He'd only do it if I had bad grades though so I didn't think it was that bad. As I grew older his reasons for hitting me started to seem more and more minute. Once, I was on the computer and he came up behind me and hit me by surprise. He chased me upstairs and tossed blows at me while yelling at me to wash a cup I left on the table in the kitchen. It wasn't my cup. I missed my bus one morning, and he woke me up by yelling at me, grabed me by my hair, tossed me into the closet and threw shoes at me and kicked me for about ten or fifteen minutes. I then got up and got ready for school. As I left my room he chased me down the stair to the garage and hit me in the back with a broom handle repeatedly while yelling at me because my younger sister was going to be late. As we drove to school he continued to yell at me in the car and hit me. When he dropped me off I was crying. He told me to wipe and tears and go to class. Many more senarios like these have happened.
I'm seventeen now. I still live at home and my dad lives with us. He hasn't hit me in about two years. Do his past actions still count? Am I overeacting? Was I even abused?

[whatswrongwithus]

You were abused. I hate to see things like this happen. If he ever hits you again, just leave. Go stay any where he doesn't know about; a friend he hasn't met, boyfriend's, any thing. If he does to it again, and you do leave, and he does find you, do not open the doors, and call the police. Just say there is a strange man trying to get in, and don't talk to him. I'm your age, and I know if my parents ever hit me, I'd be gone faster then you could wink. I also really hope, if he ever hits you or makes you get hurt in any way, you leave. I get really, really upset hearing about foster parents or grandparents, siblings, dads, moms, boyfriends, ect.ect, killing teenage girls. It just effects me more then anything else. It might be because I love girls so much. No man should [b]ever[/b] hit a female. Women are to be treated like Queens. If your treated as anything else, it is wrong. Best of luck, ~C

[kenneltech]

If it felf uncomfortable and he hurt you and you felt unsafe around him, then it was abuse.  You are to feel safe and protected at your home.  How can anyone feel safe and like it is there home if someone WAKES THEM UP AND BEATS ON THEM!!  

Think about it, if you were walking down the street and saw some guy  beating a girl with a broom handle and chasing her to kick her and throw her in a door, would you think that it was abuse and he was hurting her?  Of course you would, therefore, he is abusive to you.  If he does something like that again, call the cops, and go to your counselor at school.  This is unacceptable.  Where is your mother when all this is happening?  Good luck to you, and stay strong, and do not take this kind of abuse from anyone.

[jeepgirl84]

That's a big YES! His actions were those of a typical abuser. Get some counseling to help you come to grips with what you went through. My heart goes out to you. No one should ever go through what you did especially a child. If you have doubts, ask yourself...Would I ever treat a child or anyone that way? Did it hurt you? Were you embarrassed by his actions? Were you in fear? If you answer yes to even just one of those questions, then you know you were abused. Tell someone, anyone!! A counseler, a friend's parent, a teacher...anyone! You still need help even though he stopped 2 years ago. What about your sister, does he do these things to her?
Please take care of yourself and keep us all informed on how you are doing. God Bless.

[motherofsons]

He took out his frustrations on you with poor impulse control.  He was out of control.  You are getting older.  My dad did the same things to me when I was younger then he turned into someone more restrained.  I was always nervous.  You know how I can tell if it was abuse or not.  If you saw that in public would you call the cops?  I would.  I'd notify the authorities if I saw him hit you and kick you.  He is an abuser.  He could have caused brain trauma pounding your skull with a blow.  And why?  Because of accidents.  You did nothing on purpose!  Yes it was abuse!!  You were living in a DANGEROUS environment! I hope he's done.  He may have been put through the same situation and repeated it with you.  My dad chocked me blue one early morning before school because I did not wait for the pancakes to bubble up good enough before turning them.  He took advantage of his position in life.  I was scared of my dad all of his life, even though it stopped ome day. Right now you are still spinning from it all.  Someday you will need to talk about things with a pro. because you may have "feelings" to work out.  Keep talk talk talk talking until you get yourself feeling well.  Educate yourself.  Keep self education yourself.  Become a counselor. Start your journey to becoming healthy, because he has traumatized you.  Check out books on abuse and read them. Then remember the day when you asked, Is this abuse?  I wish I could take you in.

[iam1butterfly]

Past actions (good or bad) always impact our lives... I detect no over-reaction nor bitterness on your end... if anything, you come across as being very mature and rational considering the emotional and physical abuse that you were subjected to. Still... you might want to consider discussing this in deeper detail with a counselor... as past traumas do have a way of submerging into our unconsciousness... only to re-emerge later on in life, causing all sorts of personal problems.
In any case, I'm so glad that he no longer lays hands on you; but, just out of curiosity... what happened 2 years ago that made him stop hitting you? And, if you don't mind my asking, where was your mom during all of this?

[AnnieBrooke]

Yes.  I'm so sorry.  Do you know what has changed that has kept him from abusing you in the last two years?  And even though he is not hitting, what about the verbal abuse?  It's all abuse.