What should I do now???

[Jenny3737]

My husband and I just found out tonight that my 12 year old step son (whom I have legally adopted within the last 4 years) asked our 4 year old son to suck his ding ****.  After questioning our 4 year old and our 12 year old they indicated that the situation happened and that our 12 year old had forced our 4 year old to do this. Initially this questioning started when our 4 year old asked me if I was going to suck Daddy's ding **** because big brother made me suck his ding ****.  After our complete shock and anger....we weren't sure where to go from there.  My husband and I were so upset that we called my husbands parents to come get the 12 year old and remove him from our house as quickly as possible so we could figure out what to do.  The 12 year old is showing no remorse over what happened and our 4 year old is worried that big brother is getting in trouble.  I read on line that if the abuser is 12 or over we have to report this incident.  I don't even know how to do that-and at this point I don't even want my step son anywhere near our other 3 children.  What should I do now??? I love my step-son but I can't take the risk that he may try this behavior again.

[jo929]

i agree with the above comments also he needs to talk with you or his dad and tell you where this all come from he needs help also he needs someone to put some boundries somewhere he knew that it was wrong and if he does get away with this then he will get worse he needs some form of punishment like no tv something he likes so well to be taken away until he earns it back he needs to respect boundries if he has no remorse that is not good .years ago his dad would have taken hin behind the wood shed and he would remember it after he was grown but now spankin is out lawed to bad i am so sorry you do have a problem i would not let him around other children   lots luck   jo

[jjsh44]

First of all you need to protect your family-ALL of your family, including your 12 yr old. Which means he needs to get some sort of help. Please don't feel guilty for doing this or turning him in, you will really be helping him. Also, don't let him be alone with any of your children. I don't want to sound negative but he could already have done something to them that you don't know about and may not find out about. This is very serious. Have you by chance asked your 12yr old if anyone has done something like this to him?  Good for you for taking immediate action, really. There are so many stories where the parents don't take this sort of incident serious enough or they don't belive the victim when the victim tells them about it. We are all here to support you. Please keep me posted. Your whole family is in my thoughts.

[jml1986]

So, far you have done the right thing by getting him away from your other children. Sorry I do not know the laws in your state as far as turning your stepson in. I would think that you would need to contact childrens division if your area. What you need to remember if you do report him, they will take him out of your home. However he will then get the help he needs and that is what is most important. Failure to get him help now could result in bigger problems for him in the future. If it were me, I would contact children's division without a doubt. You children, including the stepson are going to need counseling as will you & your husband and they can provide that for you. Any type of sexual abuse must be reported no matter what the laws state. Good luck and if you need to talk then I am here for you.