Women Abusing Men

[Sarah1013]

Ok so I want you guys' opinions on something my friend is going through. My friends is a male. He is/was dating a very big boned female not much smaller than he is. He tried to leave her and she got physical (she has also been physical in the past and left bruises and scratches on him from punching him and hitting him with objects). So he shoved her out of the way and left. She called the cops and now he is sitting in jail for domestic abuse.

I feel biased because this is my friend so I want to know what other people think. Do you think ths is fair?

[jo929]

I am not a man, and no i do not think it is fair i beleive if a woman hits a man she is putting heself in a mans place and if she hits first then a man should hit back or get the sam hill out, i beleive that he should leave the first time he was hit tho  jo

[margypops]

I agree with jo there should be no differance , and stature has nothing to do with it, if the woman is violent she gets the same punishment ,in my opinion ...

[Sarah1013]

I agree jo he should have left the first time, but I am not one to judge because Ive made that mistake as well.

And margy I added the part about her stature so people wouldnt think he was just pushing around this little female half his size. But I agree stature doesnt matter if a person is violent.

Thank you guys for your imput.

[allmymarbles]

In such a situation men do not get a fair shake. There is a tendency to always believe the woman, and especially for men to believe the woman. In Family Court women bringing charges hated coming before a woman judge.

[stillgrowingLisa]

I know this happens.  My Mom was very violent with my Dad.  Dad never raised a hand to her>  He only tried to protect himself, but when the cops came it was Dad who always had to leave the house.  I've also seen her lie about my step-Dad hurting her to get sympathy.  Some women do these things.  

I hope your friend will leave this violent person in his past.  It's nice that he has you to confide in.  Way to be a friend.  : )

[allmymarbles]

My mother always lied about my father beating her. Everyone believed her and she got lots of sympathy. She was a nasty piece of work.

[guessagain]

I think this women vs men thing has gotten out of control a little. It does in fact go both ways. I don't live in what a person would call a huge populated are. The rules for the police are, if they get called, somebody's going to jail, period. I know of cases where domestic issues have gotten out of control and the men take physical abuse, then just say it was their fault because they don't want there spouse to get in trouble. It's a permanent record. The guy that checks the job app. next time just sees DOMESTIC ASSAULT. The guy has eliminated himself from the vast majority of decent jobs that may be available.

[allmymarbles]

Another reason men don't admit to being abused is that they see it as unmanly.

[margypops]

You know thats so true I cant imagine any man I know telling,even if it happened to them..

[stillgrowingLisa]

If you feel comfortable, share the posts with your friend.  He needs to know he is supported.  When you are inside an abusive situation, our perception gets really skewed and we start to think abuse is ok, forgivable, something we can get through, or tragically that we deserve it or bring it on ourselves.  Good luck to your friend.

[kenneltech]

I am so sorry for your friend.  My mother used to pull this kind of ****, and it made me so mad.  Abuse is abuse is abuse, doesn't matter who's doing it.

One thing that is good is the fact that the cops are COMING AROUND a little bit, but not fast enough.

If I were your friend, I would fight this offense to the nines.  Have you or anyone else seen the bruises on him from any other time before?  Have any one of you ever seen the abuse?  Stick up for him in court!  He will have a permanent record if he just lets this go, and she'll be scott free to abuse some other poor guy.  One day, some guy is gonna haul off and punch her so hard it will knock some sense into her, like it should.

Good luck to your friend

[Sarah1013]

Sorry I havnt been on in a while, but thanks for all the comments. Unfortunately he wont stand up for himself. Which pisses me off because I cant stand the woman hes with. But oh well, I can only do so much.

[geckopaws]

Well first of all any kind of abuse from a man or a woman in some states is considered battery and if both people hit both would be sent to jail.  Doesn't matter if you are a man or a women you go to jail.  That is just how it is here.  Although self defense is different and that is exactly what your friend was trying to is to get out of the situation by any means necessary.  If she wouldn't let him leave and he shoved her out of the way its self defense.  Sex kinda matters but not really.  Now it only gets complicated if you use fire arms.