abuse

abuse or really is it in the eye of the abuser they don"t even really know that they arre doing it ... from what I have learned from being on the other end of an abuser is that they actually from what I ahve experienced think that they are in the right to control someone, and that what they want is the way it is .. they are ablivious to what is normal or should I say rather healthy.Think about it if you are content with you , you have no desire to control someone , all you would think is happiness  for every one. When you love yourself you can do so much ... I think that in the old days people did not want peole to think to much of themselves that aparently make you conceided ... soo stupid If you are a lost soul you become selfish and thats all you think about is you ... When you know and love yourself you have so much more energy to give out and make a better world.so my Question is I dont have one.... exept how do I learn to speel better lol

[margypops]

I think I understand where you are going and thank you for your perspective, I do agree that its good to love ones self that isnt always easy when they have been abused most of their lives.Personally I think therapy/counselling is very helpful,  reading up and learning that what happened was not their fault, accepting that it did indeed happen, yet it is now in the past ,determine not to let the perpetrator ruin the rest of their lives stop over thinking and dwelling on the negative thoughts ,working is also good therapy its a way of meeting people ,staying busy . .Not easy is it, but we have seen success stories here , folks do go on to have great lives inspite of their childhood. if you were abused I hope that this has happened for you ..good Luck  

[kenneltech]

I understand what you are saying, but I totally disagree.  If they truly didn't know what they were doing, basically saying they didn't know right from wrong, then how come they try to hurt you SO IT WON'T SHOW?  Or, they tell  you not to tell anyone or they'll do it worse, or they hide what they are and what they do?  They live in this world, there's media everywhere, they know.  And yes, I was violently abused for years and years as a child.

[Rainbow_Ike]

Willie:

What you wrote might have been true in 1960 (the year I was sexually abused a few times bu different people) but this is 2010.

Unless your abuser is Amish or Chasidic and does not use modern media like TV. they HAVE to know. Starting in about 1080, there have been "After School Specials" and "Made for TV Movies" about once a month on the subject.

The media (TV & newspapers) no longer ignore it because the medical community has been trained to recognize the signs of physical and sexual abuse after almost ever state mandated even dental assistants to report even SUSPECTED cases to an anonymous state registry.

There are ads on TV encouraging citizens to call to anonymously report suspected abuse. (Not totally anonymous - Thy DO ask for your name, but just to make sure you are not harassing an innocent neighbor by reporting him or her multiple times with those voice altering machines or using different telephones. Deliberately making false reports is illegal.)

So out abuser has to KNOW  it is wrong. And either does not care, or has a severe psychiatric disorder.

Ike