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my boyfriend is upset at me because i compare him to the man that raped me
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13167_tn?1327197724
I would think he would be very upset by that.  
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1696489_tn?1370825574
OWCH, that is hurtful to both of you.  I suggest you see a thereapist so you can talk through your issues about the rape, and to learn how to cope in an apprpriate manner, hun. - Blu
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1696489_tn?1370825574
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134578_tn?1446090952
Do you mean, in a sad moment you are saying to him that having sex reminds you of the rape?  Or do you mean that in a fight you yell that all men are alike and he is just as much of a pig as the rapist?  It makes some difference.  But even if it were the first, I would go see a therapist, not tell my boyfriend that he resembles a rapist.
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3060903_tn?1398568723
It's really hard to have a sexual relationship after rape. I'm so sorry :(  You should take it slow and work with a therapist. Is your boyfriend not being sensitive to the fact it's hard for you to have a sexual relationship right now? Was the rapist brought to justice?
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3060903_tn?1398568723
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5039239_tn?1364028271
Maybe the boyfriend isn't making you feel secure. Are you feeling pressured for sex? My daughter felt like this with her last boyfriend and I told her she needs someone more affectionate, hugs and holding hands, maybe just talking. You don't have to feel pressured into sex with anyone. It is something ( you) must feel comfortable with. Talk to your doctor about this, it might help to confirm your feelings.
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5039239_tn?1364028271
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757137_tn?1347200053
.Ouch. Poor, harmless boyfriend.
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757137_tn?1347200053
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Avatar_universal
He's a really understanding boyfriend. He's the one that helped me come out to my parents about the situation. Since I am an illegal immigrant, we did not want to police to get involved. (I've been in this country since I was 7, I am 21 now). When my parents found out recently, they kicked him (my uncle that rapes me) out the house immediately. When I compared my boyfriend to him, he got really upset, but 3 days after, when I saw him he just held me and asked me if I feel pressured, I told him sometimes. He then explained to me that I need to talk to him and that he never wants me to feel that way. He then said if I have anything I want to talk about to talk to him and let him know what's happening, that I need to trust him and share my experience. He the. Said even if we break up ( not
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Avatar_universal
Going to happen, his words) to still come to him and talk to him. All in all he is a wonderful person. I just need to accept that this happen and I cannot do anything about it. That I need to move on and be happy. (His words) thanks guys :)
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Avatar_universal
He is really a very nice person and don't let him go from your life.
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