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cant tell my boyfriend about my past
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cant tell my boyfriend about my past

I'm 17 years old. I've been abuse pretty much 'till i was 14 years old by my moms boyfriend, people in the orphange and my uncle.. Now since i got adopted by american people it stopped. I have really bad depressions and so much anger in me. I have a boyfriend right now and we've been toghetr for a while. He asked me if I could tell him something about my past and i am afraid to tell him because i think he wont understand me or will take it wrong way
. Can anyone help me ?
P.s i've been counseling and that didnt helped.
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10 Comments Post a Comment
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535822_tn?1389452880
I am so sorry that this happened to you,there are no words can expess how we feel about the perpetrators .I am wondering if you can tell him a part of it, I understand why you wouldn't want to explain it all,.perhaps until you are more comfortable about it ,let it go .Most partners do understand , how long have you known him ?
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Avatar_f_tn
girl...i will help you dont tell him nothing he will throw it in your face... i've been there and been through worse like being kidnapped for three weeks and so many other things that i couldnt tell you cause your too young...I never let nothing bring me down and i had my kids before i was your age and im proud of them their all in colledge no dss ever took them and i did it with no parents...but i did it...i tried to get personal with my boyfriend before by telling him what you want to tell your boyfriend but it lead to a break up... dont keep it to yourself...some people are not so understanding... when your married for many comfortable years tell him..not someone who knows your anger...Im angry too but the thoughts and memories never leave...but you can feel sorry for those and hope that karma will follow them one day. Stay happy it will make you look older...no matter what i been through in life how horrific i still smile even when im sad...cause no one understands your pain but you... stay anger free..
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932659_tn?1332122304
Hi,
I don't know, I keep writing and deleting.  I guess what I wanted to say is, if you are going to tell him, make sure you are going to be with him for awhile.  Start slowly and see how his reaction is to what you tell him.  If he seems to be understanding, listens, and wants to talk about it, then I'd tell him more and more, but I wouldn't open up about every single thing right away.  If he wants to know something about your past, but you don't think he'd understand the things you are telling us, then tell him something else less significant and unrelated.  I am also very sorry that you went through what you did.  Good luck to you :)
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13167_tn?1327197724
I wouldn't tell him.  Reading your other posts,  you are very insecure with him right now and describe your relationship as "volatile".    If you confided in him and he ended up not being supportive of you,  you really stand to be terribly emotionally hurt.

Since you're so young,  the chance that this will be a long term relationship is very very small.  If I were you I wouldn't risk my heart confiding this pain you have when it's unlikely this will be  healing for you.

Take care -
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Avatar_m_tn
If you've been together for a while, then you should be able to confide in him.  If he can't handle it or doesn't want to deal with it, then he doesn't deserve you.  I've been abused too, and you have to understand this:  You need some self-respect and self-love.  Have enough self-esteem to know that no matter what anyone throws at you, you'll be okay.  Give therapy another shot.  Listen, therapy is hard, I know.  It's not something that works right away.  You have a lot to talk about!  Abuse is something that takes a lot of time and effort to heal.  But with a good therapist (there are a lot of mediocre ones out there), you'll get better.  It's all up to you.  Good luck.
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757137_tn?1347200053
I would not tell him. In the first place this is a young romance and may not last. If he has this information ihe might tell others and goodbye privacy. Keep in mind that women who have been abused are often thought to be fair game by low lifes and might result in an unfortunate kind of attention.This is a problem you have to work out by yourself. It will be difficult but eventually you will get past it.
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1642158_tn?1305204316
Thank you fo ryour support and help,
I told him and he reacted just fine. We actually got more closer then we were before. He said tha he will be here for me no matter what. I believe him. He is not that kind of person that will throw all the stuff in your face when you get in the fight.

Thank again for the help
Love you guys.
Take care
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