emotions all over the place

I had counselling today,I thought I'd dealt with most things that would upset me, apparently not.I don't blame myself for the abuse anymore,I don't feel guilty and I'm moving on with my life.Today in counselling I realised I still don't have control,he is still there in my head,as far triggers, I still have a few,smells are the worst,people with moustaches,even some books,so now with my counsellor we are working on visualisation techniques to take the control back and put him out of my head and thoughts.I got upset today for the first time in ages.There's got to be a light at the end of this tunnel.And yes allmymarbles if you read this counselling can bring back memories and triggers I personally prefer to keep working with professionals who know what their doing,because although today was hard it was another weight lifted,I know eventually I'll be fine with everything It's just working through it,and no I'm not on here for sympathy or pity.I'm here to share with others that It's not always easy going through counselling.You have to put the effort in.


                                                         Denise      

[bren969]

Denise, i just had to reply to you, i dont really know what to say apart from i know how you feel. Most times  i see my counseller i come out feeling worse than when i walked in. I know triggers feel bad but once you can sort them out in your head they then begin to feel, not so bad.
I know that you are not here for sympathy or pity and nobody else who understands will say any different.
My councellor has asked me to keep a diary this week of all my thoughts and feelings. I read it back today and i sound like a right sad cow, im in two minds whether to show her or not because thats not how i want to come across to her.
We dont want people to think we are just after sympathy because we are not, we just want to move on the best we can.
I think you are doing so well, i admire how far you have come and you give me hope for myself. X

[narla]

I've been keeping a diary since I started counselling I'ts the best thing and you can look back and see how far you've come,I've now started a new book for a new chapter in my life,the guilt, blame and shame have gone. Now It,s getting him out of my head.

[margypops]

Sounds like you are making good progress I am sure the first few times are hard its the reliving again what you went through isnt it, those'triggers as you said . Good luck.

[nikki0207]

I agree there are triggers out there that u dont think would b till it happens. I keep putting it off that it didnt happen cuz im still waiting for the evidance to come back almost 4 months ago when the rape happened to me. Now i have my ex husband causing me problem after problem and it just seems i dont have time to deal with everything going on. on prob at a time one day at a time. what can u do. i too dont what pitty or someone to feel bad 4 me i just what to talk with others that feel the same and that how we can heal and help eachother cuz WE know how the other feels. good luck and God bless all that have this to endure. whatever dont kill us makes us stronger woman 4 sure!!!!!!!!!!!  love ya all
nikki