ex abused me

I was in a relationship with this guy for 7 months after a week together I sed he cud stay at mine for 2 days and then he just wouldn't go he took over my house making it how he wanted it and used to have ago at me for going out to my parents houses said I was cheating when I never did. He would ask who's texting me and go nuts if I even sed hi to a boy on the streets. He would grip hold of me n throw me to the floor n push me about n keep me awake all nite by shouting at me. I got pregnant by him and sadly lost the baby and a week after I lost the baby he pressured me into having sex.which was very painful and I cnt face sex now I'm to scared.  I had to move to get him out of my home as he just would not leave. I act happy in front of everyone else but inside its killin me I just don't know what to do.

[margypops]

You say he is out of your home? Is he still bothering you in any way, because you can take out a restraining order against him.This man sounds way out of control and if he is  bothering you you should speak to the authorities .

[Messmess66]

Talk to someone call the cops for rape and abuse

[marie2012c]

Sometimes he does he gets people to message me on facebook nd has ago at me in streets. Yes I have called police but without evidence they said they can't do a thing. I'm to scared to go drs for help or councelling as I feel stupid.

[margypops]

Maybe time to move to another area away from him and lose facebook for a while .Feeling stupid is nothing to do with it, if you are threatened you get help to deal with the threat, have you any family may help you out dealing with him .?

[specialmom]

I agree that moving may be a good option.  I'd close down facebook for a while and just not get on it at all.  It isn't necessary to communicate as you can text your close friends if you need to tell them something (maybe even calling them and saying a guy is stalking you and you are off facebook for a while).  If he texts you again--------  tell him that you do not want him to contact you or come near you again.  Then you have proof that you told him to stay away.  Then document everything he does after that point.  

but if you feel you are not safe, it is better to pack up and leave as soon as possible.  your safety is most important.  good luck

[allmymarbles]

I think when margypops asks if you have family to help deal with him she might be thinking of large muscular men who will tell him to leave you alone. It is a silent threat which can be very effective.

[margypops]

LOL I was indeed allmymarbles...how'd ya guess.hey I would have a go for her .

[overopiates]

I didnt read the other responses cause Im gonna tell u what I think.1st he is a mooch,leach,user,abuser(ALL OBVIOUS)also he forced u2have sex.He is a rapist&at the least a complete&total inconsiderate B A S T A R D!!!!Im positive that was painful but u know what its actually dangerous that soon too.Please tell me u went back4a check up after that so I know and more important u know ur ok?!STAY AWAY.Ur smart enough to get way.The fact rhat he could be that abusive(physically&sexually)&b so cruel he is a awful person.CUT ALL TIES WITH HIM.U know u deserve better&PLEASE know all(most)men r not like this.He is neither a man or a boy he is scum.U may b ashamed BUT THIS ISNT UR FAULT(thats how most abused women feel especially if they dont get some therapy(to b able to KNOW u have NO fault n this).Talk2someone u trust(family,close friend).I promise u will b told ur loved,this is his issue,ur not there so u made the correct&adult decision leaving the squatter.Can I ask ur age?When a woman is abused out of nowhere she is shocked,ashamed,often feels like its somehow there fault.NONE OF THIS IS TRUE.I saw my mom abused a lot w/my dad&a couple other guys when I was a kid.Ive seen it,its so sad to know@30now that when I was4,5,6etc&wanted2protect her&couldnt she felt thats all she was worth.U r making the right decision staying away.OBVIOUSLY next time u meet someone(take ur time too&as difficult as it is u need the time to talk this through then u will feel whole ahain)take it slow,very slow.Feel1000%sure ur ready&comfortable b4u let someone n ur life.U have to b ready to feel good about urself&try not2bring the baggage n2ur next relationship.

[allmymarbles]

Knowing my family, if the silent threat didn't work....

[Kayannaboo]

He is an idiot, go to the police and let them know that he has been harassing you. Inform them of the abuse you suffered by and give them his address. I agree, some large muscular men should shake him up, men like him are usually coward. Ignore the facebook comments and block/delete anyone who does not respect your wishes to stop relaying messages from him.

Anna

[allmymarbles]

There is nothing the police can charge him with. It is "he said, she said," not evidence.

[specialmom]

I was once stalked.  yep.  Scary.  It was back in the day where people actually talked on telephones (now it seems people facebook and text) and I told him "I'm recording this call.  I do not want you to ever contact me or come near me again, do you understand?"  He said yes.  Honestly, he never bothered me again either in person or by calling.  He did resurface years later and was a pain but I was engaged and my brawny now husband scared him off.  

you can get a restraining order regardless.  He said, she said----  well, if she is feeling threatened, get a restraining order.  And if you feel that won't work . . . move.  It's worth uprooting to be safe from a threatening person who might hurt you.  

[allmymarbles]

Yes, lacking big muscular relatives, moving might be the best policy. A restraining order can actually escalate the situation.

[specialmom]

That is true----------  but documentation in case he does something is really helpful.  I guess.  ugh.  Hate for any woman to be in that situation.  I'd move.  

[allmymarbles]

I'd get a gun.

[marie2012c]

Thank you all. I havnt got no large muscular no but got plenty of close male friends who want to smack him for me.I'm living with a family member now so he shouldn't bother me I hope. overopiates I have been checked out and they said I'm ok.I just don't feel it. I'm 24 and I have a 5 year old who witnessed it. I have cut all ties now new number no facebook and I have told him he come near me or my child I will send my male friends over to see him.I guess it will take me a while to trust a guy enough to let him in my life or even b able to have sex with him after hat this guy put me through. I'm also making a appointment with a dr my friend went through same and had talked me round.  

[allmymarbles]

One has to question the need to censor the views of others.

[Claire_MHModerator]

Hi, folks,

I had to remove a couple of posts asking about moderation issues because I want to make sure marie2012c gets the support she needs without the distraction of side issues.  

If you have any questions about forum moderation, please feel free to PM any of us, or email us via the Contact Us link below.  Thanks!

Claire
MedHelp.org