get the thoughts out of my head

[wantourbabyback]

I have found out that my husband has cheated on me and i cant get the thoughts and image out of my head. when i try to talk to him about it he hits me or says something mean . can someone please tell me how to move the thoughts out of my head . im going through alot already im sick and tired of finding out all the ways he has hurt me. is he going to do it againg and why is he doing this. And when i ask him about it why does he just hit me or spit in my face and hair. Ehat can i do

[wantourbabyback]

Thank you for advice its very helpful

[rpooo]

I don't really know your story but coming across your post I have so many different feelings! Don't you realize you and your little one deserve so much better? It's such a cute picture of the two of you together, I hope you will take my friend Nighthawk's advice.

Nobody deserves to be treated this way, you have a much better future ahead of you and it's time to make it happen. It's the best Christmas present you can give your son and yourself. Don't allow this to continue one more day, you never know what is going to happen. A man that can hit a woman strait in the face then I am reluctant to think of what else he might be capable of. Dress warm and get a set of car keys it's all you need to go to a womans shelter where you can begin your new life. I wish the very best for you and your son, please get somewhere safe.

Randy

[Nighthawk61]

If you bring your son back into this, he'll soon be in denial himself, to save you from being held accountable for your part in this. Without you to protect him, he'll be saying to himself every night, as he cries himself to sleep, that he has no one, and that he's alone. Just like you must feel like, when you go to bed and can't sleep because of the abuse. He won't be able to figure it out that he can leave when he get's older, he'll only know the present, and that will be his whole life. You CAN save him from that abuse, now. Maybe he'll not be able to remember the first year, but you will. You'll always remember being abused while making you're child watch.  If you think that you've got low self esteem now, wait until you force a child to watch what you can barely handle yourself. I'm praying for you so hard right now, to do the right thing. You don't have to be alone honey. Don't be so alone. Just, please, reach out for a hand, and you'll find one. I know you're waiting for housing, but why not do it from a safe house?and while you're receiving counseling? Anything else doesn't make sense honey.

[wantourbabyback]

Its whats most imporent to me

[wantourbabyback]

Thank you all the help is great

[Nighthawk61]

Right now he's in a safe place where you can visit him. Let him stay there until you get yourself together (a few months). and can have him put in YOUR custody. Do not let fear of the unknown cripple you. You're experiencing the worst right now, it will only get better when you leave. If you let your little guy go into your husband's home, you may never get him. Possession is 9/10's of the law. STOP Carter from going to your husband's house by screaming from the rooftops about the abuse he's capable of. OR just accept this abuse, and accept that Carter will grow up like his Dad and end up hating you for doing nothing. **** or get off the pot, girl. Stop taking this and whining about it. DO something about it, YOU KNOW it's not going to change, EVER.

[Nighthawk61]

Honey, the worst thing about this is......it will come out (when you're sent to the hospital with a broken nose, or arm, or face) that your husband is abusive. If you've pushed to have your baby back in the home , it only proves that you are not a good mother, because you've been pushing to have your baby brought into an abusive home. If you want your baby to be given to YOU, then you must LEAVE NOW, and let the therapists in the woman's shelter, or the homeless shelter speak up for you and say that you are a responsible mother having removed yourself from harms way. You can get a restraining order for abuse, and your husband will not get the baby. But you have to move on this now, before your son is "placed" in the home with your husband. Every minute that you wait will tell the authorities that you are not a good mother (by not providing a safe home for your child, for saying nothing, doing nothing, that brings attention to the fact that you are holding back vital information that would have the authorities place a child in harms way). My God, you are playing a very dangerous game letting this go on. Do this for Carter for God sake, go to a shelter, get on benefits, find a small apartment, get to college, find a new step dad. I know this is work, but your procrastination is really going to bite you in the butt if you are considered a bad mother, again!!!! PLUS, your sobriety is at risk,, it's only a matter of time before this abuse will trigger your use and you will be considered unacceptable to be Carter's mother, AGAIN. Why are you doing this to yourself???? Get a therapist and you'll find out why you are doing this to yourself, please allow someone to help you. If not, you will NOT EVER be considered a GOOD MOTHER, Isn't that really what's most important to you???

[Kirstie_MHModerator]

There are emergency shelters in most areas.  If you need help finding contact info or locations, please post or send a private message to me or another member you trust.   You need to get out ASAP - this is not a situation that will get better; it will only get worse.

[wantourbabyback]

I just want to leave my body is tired and so is my heart. he punched me in the face tonight cuz he said im a ***** i cant take anymore

[MissmyAngel]

I agree, even if he doesnt cheat again, he is an abuser and it will keep getting worse. You need to get away from him asap!
Btw his behavior shows he has no remorse for what he did, so it would be very likely he will do it again.

[margypops]

I agree with the others ...it wont change, he is an abuser and a cheater, why stay ...find somewhere to go, ask family to help . not easy I know but no point in staying with a man like that ..good luck

[Nighthawk61]

HE IS GOING TO DO IT AGAIN, AND AGAIN AND AGAIN......I'M SORRY:(

[AnnieBrooke]

Leave, and don't look back except to give his information to the police and your lawyer.