gf told me about being abused as a child. 2 0f 2

[luca108]

2of2
she began being plagued by some significant health issues, fatigue, autoimmune and requiring two major operations, school grades suffered as her teachers thought she was just being a typical teenager who didnt want to participate in sports (when actually her knees where bad)
and (was fatigued due to weakened immune system etc)
not just a typical depressed teenager...

by 16 she attempted suicide by swallowing pills and calling the child help line to which she passed out and they notified emergency services, sending an ambulance to her location at her home where they knocked and her father/mother completely unaware from a knock at the door late in the evening to paramedics saying something is wrong and they found her unconscious.
she received treatment for the pills having her stomach pumped, recovered physically but then that is when the questions were finally asked, (well kinka...)

she spared her parents the heart ache of the full details iv'e disclosed on this forum as she recalls the broken look of a man her father who found his baby girl in unconscious state. as she feels telling them everything would destroy the family as she thinks they would blame themselves for not noticing the signs sooner of the ongoing sexual, physical and psychological abuse.
As she was manipulated, lied and threatened she would be killed or he would kill her family, he would cut her if she fought back and she says she only has 4-5 main reoccurring dreams as she believes, is her brains way of coping with the trauma to block out years and over a thousand separate cases of this animal abusing her even when his own three children played in the backyard and that's what i see each night as she falls asleep.

Now my question i bring to all of you who have taking the time to read through this horrific story is.
what do i do?
i encouraged her (when shes ready) to speak to her parents and family about it, perhaps not all the details, but at least reach out as she believes they dont know how to bring it up with her and  there way of dealing with it was to build a big wall out front the house and later move out of the city to a more isolated area away from people and are all on anti depressants and have larger property now with hobby farm and now just one business that the dad runs but are not paying attention to enough and will potentially be declaring bankrup and she manages it to help stay a float and the mum works away to help with finances, i believe it would benefit everyone to speak about the elephant in the room as not facing it will destroy everyone as it slowly is and not allowing them to move on
but i understand it is not my place...
and i know i have to respect her wishes to leave it and their choice to move on and deal with things in their own way as i don't know, and i grapple with wanting her to at least report this man as they never pursued charges she did see a councillor of some sort which she says helped  but she never told them much (to protect her family)
and just said it happened once or twice and she stopped seeing a councillor once her school kicked her out as she couldn't graduate due to missing too many days at school due to her surgery  and they didn't want their 100% graduation record tarnished.
Also struggle with the idea that by her not acting on this, this man walks free and potentially is doing it to more young girls.( i have a younger sister who under ten and the thought of something happening to her makes my blood boil)
I want to support her either which way she chooses to go but i do foresee the future "elephant in the room"  directly or indirectly impacting on our future as i feel an explanation as to why her parents didnt notice the man down the street who baby sather, abusing her? like i said who was a normal man with a wife a three kids
was she that good at hiding it all, her parents are lovely and good people but it just doesnt add up to me how did they not see it, children are good at hiding things.. but as the last part of this story will demonstrate, ill be honest.
Most the time everything is okay and we continue on and she is fine, but i dont understand how this man could do this to a child, his wife not notice and her parents or peers not notice.

i can not flaw her as shes incredible
But i have my moments where the weight begins to bare down and i struggle to play along with things as i know i should and all good, but ...
here i am a young man, lost in how to handle whats been dealt before me and would love to hear what your opinions are as i haven't taken to speaking to a professional about this and not spoken to any family or friends and its just been her and i and at times its very difficult to be strong and want to be strong and help bare the load, she says i can speak to a professional if i want... we talk as i mentioned and we work through it and support each other but yeah what do i do, continue on this train ride and hope the tracks don't run out and it becomes a train wreck
contact and report to police on her behalf?
confront her parents and family?
find the guy .myself?

please help..

[AnnieBrooke]

If you speak to a professional, ask what would happen if you did try to report this without your girlfriend's permission.  It might not help, and the police would need evidence.  (It's a pity her earlier boyfriend threw away her diary.)

Talk to the counselor about how you can best support your girlfriend.

She needs to stay in counseling, as this is still hurting her.  Encourage her that direction.

[Nighthawk61]

I fully agree with Annie B. Encourage her to stay in counseling for as long as it takes for her nightmares to decrease, and hopefully turn to something less intense. I suffer from post traumatic stress, and often have nightmares, It helps to immediately talk about my dreams, and have my husband, in his steady and loving way, say that "They're only dreams, he can't hurt you anymore" I look for his constant reassurance that i'll be okay, and it means so much to me, I love him so much for being my rock, all the time. Thanks be to God, that there are men willing to rescue women from intolerable pain. You're a great guy. Keep up the incredible support you are to your beloved. I will keep you both in my thoughts and prayers. You might need your own support through this. It's hard to help bare the weight of some of life's atrocities, but the fact is there are man. Thanks for being that guy, like my husband , who cares. God bless you both. I'm so proud of you son.

[RockRose]

Do you typically find yourself in the role of "rescuer" in your romantic relationships?