Abuse Support Community
i have a question
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This community is for discussions relating to emotional, physical, sexual, social, spiritual, spousal, and verbal abuse. Please note, this community is not monitored by professionals, rather questions will be answered by other members of the community.

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i have a question

Im 19 years old and was in a very abusive relationship for three years. We broke up in July & I met another guy from & we started dating and found out I was pregnant two months later. I'm now 8 weeks and four days pregnant. Now my question is, I read somewhere you have to tell the doctors if you were in an abusive relationship prior to becominng pregnant, is that true?!
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535822_tn?1389452880
'you have to tell the doctor ...humm I wonder why ..I have not heard of this .but I wouldn't tell my private life anyway .
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Avatar_f_tn
I don't think you have to tell them anything if you are over 18. It's your choice to tell.  You might want to consider talking to a shrink before you start your new life . I know I wish I would of started sooner but that's just my opionion .good luck to you
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13167_tn?1327197724
I wonder where you read that, Tiff.  I'm always amazed at some of the things that women who are pregnant think - including that if you can't pay your hospital bill they'll keep your baby.  :(

You don't ever have to tell anyone you've been abused.

Maybe what you read is you can't allow your child to be around known pedophiles or others who have been convicted of abuse?
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3060903_tn?1398568723
Hi Tiff, welcome to Medhelp's Abuse forum. I noticed that you have already joined in are contributing to other members in the pregnancy community and suggesting an Ob/gyn, so that's really good. It sounds like you know the importance of proper health care and nutrition during your pregnancy.

As per, cases of abuse and talking to doctors, all i know is that stress can cause infertility in women and miscarriages in women. I miscarried my first child when i was your age, due to stress, so i know first hand the importance of the right environment for a healthy gestation and birth.

Ghostgirl had a good point, that it is often helpful to talk to a psychologist about why you stayed in an abusive relationship for 3 years.

How did your childhood contribute to your being co-dependent?

How are you working toward being independent and able to fully support yourself and your baby, as well as being a partner in a relationship.  

Congratulations on your pregnancy Tiff, I wish you only the very best for you and your new little one, and your relationship with your partner..
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2194148_tn?1397327075
They always ask you if you feel safe or have been in an abusive relationship recently, or been sexually or physically abused.  They always ask this to see if you are depressed or if a social worker can help you.  Also, this affects how you relate to things.  I wouldn't worry about it, though, if you don't want them to know, just say "no"!

Incidently, be very careful about this new relationship as you are young and this could be rebound.  Also, I  hope you  got some good therapy in before another relationship because many of US tend to pick the same abusive type men, we don't know the signs early on.  It takes a long time and we have to work on ourselves as well as the men working on themselves.  Good luck to you.
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