in the past?

[rooferguy]

I was thinking about the phrase "thats in the past, just let it go" and considering that many of the things from my past are still very RIGHT NOW (example, debts that are still alive and well) .... It dawned on me that the person who does the abusing seems to be vary able and willing to "let it all be in the past" without having to suffer any consequence for their actions of course.

While the victim is forced to live WITH the consequences day by day ... and its very hard to put something in the past when its in your face every day.

For example, I was stupid enough to allow my ex wife to manipulate me into consolidating our student loans together so we could get a loan for a house. She also took out a credit card and neglected to tell me about it and did not pay our bills for nearly two years which ruined my good credit ...

So she runs off, leaves me with all the debt and the damaged credit while she is free and clear and has good credit and says to me "its in the past" I say "no, I STILL owe the money, my credit is STILL bad ... its not past its right now ... pay your share" she says "Well I have forgiven myself, so you just need to move on"

It seems that abusive and manipulative people are very good at excusing themselves of genuine responsiblity and making monsters of their victims while they excuse their own behaviors...

thoughts?

[elvy66]

I agree with RockRose you need to speak to a lawyer about gaining some money back.

I believe there are a lot of people who believe they have the right to destroy other peoples lives and there are no shortage's to these people.  What we have to do is learn from these people and become wise and every strong and most of all happy.
Our happiness is the only thing that kicks them in the face. When we are happy they will want us back to suck the life out of us again, but we are smart now and this is not an option because we are waiting for true happiness with someone who won't use us, won't cheat on us and most of all not hurt us...please hold out for this person because that is what we deserve. elvy

[RockRose]

That's so true,  rooferguy.

Just like people who will tell you they're very very sensitive don't seem to be sensitive of other people's feelings,  just their own.

And I agree that it will catch up with her.

[rooferguy]

Well not really, I spoke with a couple of attorneys about it and there is nothing I can really do about it ... and even if I did, she is a con artist and I would never get paid anyways ..

Best I can do is just let her keep it up, and eventually life itself will come back to bite her ... as they say "what comes around, goes around"

What I have learned though, is that people are liars and manipulators are also the best at forgiving themselves for screwing people over ..

[RockRose]

Do you have a way to sue for her debts?