is my father a verbal abuser?

[laylay0621]

alright so im a teenager and in high school..so when your in high school you would expect a little freedom from your parents..well more freedom in high school than in middle school. but lately for the past year my father has i think become verbally abusive by telling my im stupid and constantly yelling at me.. so i am always thinking i cant do anything right and then i start believing im stupid.  he ells at me for everything i do. an i am afraid of him i have to say that.  i feel safe when its just my mom and i and when my dad is know where to be found.  see my dad got mad at for going on Facebook so he made me write 1000 times (see this is what im talking about..i've had to do this like 8 times already for the stupidest reasons like not picking up the rug on accident to vacum under...but all my family members and my counsler at school think that making me write 1000 times is just ridculous) i mean he thinks of a sentence and then i have to write.  everyday he yelling at me and i try to tell him just listen to me so you will understand why i did what i did but nooo he wont listen cause he thinks hes always right.  AND I JUST CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!!  he always tells me in birthday cards that im proud of whom you've become becasue i have 9 years of prefect attendance and im a A and B student.  i just dont know what to do anymore casue i have though of suicide and i have become depressed and wouldn't eat.

[RockRose]

It sounds like your dad has some kind of issues with anxiety.   Or he's going through a really really rough time in his marriage and is taking it out on you.  

My best advice is,  shut down around him.  Don't talk back to him,  don't answer back to his accusations,  don't defend yourself,  just completely shut down when he starts yelling at you and making you write sentences.  Just say okay in a weak way,  and write them robotically.  He doesn't want to listen to you,  and defending yourself is just a pure waste of time and energy and gives him the feeling he's right.

Best wishes.  Soon you'll be old enough to get out of the house.  In the meanwhile,  enjoy your successes and the sports you play,  and the classes you excel in.

Best wishes.

[margypops]

I am sorry this does happen where teens and parents butt heads..maybe he has a lot of stress going on and he has chosen to use you as a scapegoat..how does your Mom deal with it when he yells at you for the small stuff you describe , have you told her how you feel and asked for some help to speak to him about it .? If your family members agree with you about the issues , you know its something he has to deal with .It may be a good idea to avoid any confrontations as they can be upsetting, what did the counselor think about it ?