Aa
is porn an addiction?
m 30 my fiance is 34 I recently went through the history on the computer and found that my fiancé has been looking at lots of teen porn for the past 4 months. I dont mean 18 year old porn these girls are as young as 14. Not only that but he has been sneaking on to my facebook to go to my nieces profile to look at her photos she just turned 14. He has also been looking at my cousins profile she is 19. He also looked at many youtube videos of young girls dancing sexy as young as 10 wearing bathing suites or revealing clothes. I left to my moms house the next morning with our 6 month old daughter. When i asked him about it he admitted to fantasising about my niece and her friends as well as my cousin. His reason for looking at young teen porn is because he was sick at that time but he would never hurt our daughter or anyone. He says he'll get help but i dont think ill ever trust him with our daughter. Nor do i feel like ill ever trust him. I want to forgive him for the sake of our family i dont want her to have a broken home but is it worth the worry of her safety and my sanity? Please help
Yea porns an addiction thats not the important thing here his attraction to young girls.HET NOT SAFE AROUND THEM!!!THERE DANG SURE NOT SAFE AROUND HIM.
Yes, porn is an addiction!
my step-father used to look at it all of the time and he sexually abused me! That is not to say that your husband will do the same. I do urge you to be very careful! Just from you saying that he fantasized about your underage niece and looking at youtube videos of 10 year olds is a RED FLAG, That is your FAMILY that he is messing with and not only is it ADULTERY it is ILLEGAL! You, as a mother, can't put your child's life in danger.
Being a sexual abuse victim is a VERY hard thing to live with and I know this from personal experience! My own step-father abused me at 14 and molested me as a young child ( 7-8 years old!). It is something that will RUIN a person's life FOREVER and you can never ERASE it! It is hard to live as a normal person when this happenes. My mother didn't stick by my side, she called me a LIAR and said I should be in jail and not my abuser because she says I lied and it was all my fault! She was a poor excuse of a mother.
Sometimes leaving the child's father can be the best option. The fact that he is telling you he "WAS" sick is a LIE! People just don't get over being a "*********" and I am sorry but that is what he is if he is fantasizing about young CHILDREN. Your own family! You need to get away from him. You just don't know what he is capable of or what he might do. And if he is looking at underaged girls, I would be worried what he might have DONE to underaged girls.
my step-father used to look at it all of the time and he sexually abused me! That is not to say that your husband will do the same. I do urge you to be very careful! Just from you saying that he fantasized about your underage niece and looking at youtube videos of 10 year olds is a RED FLAG, That is your FAMILY that he is messing with and not only is it ADULTERY it is ILLEGAL! You, as a mother, can't put your child's life in danger.
Being a sexual abuse victim is a VERY hard thing to live with and I know this from personal experience! My own step-father abused me at 14 and molested me as a young child ( 7-8 years old!). It is something that will RUIN a person's life FOREVER and you can never ERASE it! It is hard to live as a normal person when this happenes. My mother didn't stick by my side, she called me a LIAR and said I should be in jail and not my abuser because she says I lied and it was all my fault! She was a poor excuse of a mother.
Sometimes leaving the child's father can be the best option. The fact that he is telling you he "WAS" sick is a LIE! People just don't get over being a "*********" and I am sorry but that is what he is if he is fantasizing about young CHILDREN. Your own family! You need to get away from him. You just don't know what he is capable of or what he might do. And if he is looking at underaged girls, I would be worried what he might have DONE to underaged girls.
First of all, I am very sorry that you had to go through this and I am sure it's very hard and very harsh.
I know it's hard to believe but please know that it has nothing to do with YOU personally. It's easy for us women to wonder if we are good-looking enough etc and play comparisons, but I pray that you will truly believe it's not your fault.
My ex was a porn addict. It has caused great strain in our relationship and has eventually broken our relationship. One thing that you need to try not to do is to check incessantly everyday and constantly ask him if he had done it. It will drive both of you mad although I know the temptation is very strong.
You both need a counselor. One for yourself to deal with the emotional trauma you are experiencing and another one for him. He needs a male counselor and he needs male accountability.
But don't let that get you entirely out of the picture. Both of you can get help together. If he is genuine, there may still be hope.
Trust is in part a decision and no one can help you with it. You need extreme discernment for the well-being of everyone and that cannot be a decision that can come easily. No one can tell you how the exact path to healing is but you and yourself. Remember there may be compasses, but never maps. Be willing to "recalculate route" once in a while like the GPS - and know that life is not about perfection but about overcoming in imperfection. My thoughts are with you.Take care.
I know it's hard to believe but please know that it has nothing to do with YOU personally. It's easy for us women to wonder if we are good-looking enough etc and play comparisons, but I pray that you will truly believe it's not your fault.
My ex was a porn addict. It has caused great strain in our relationship and has eventually broken our relationship. One thing that you need to try not to do is to check incessantly everyday and constantly ask him if he had done it. It will drive both of you mad although I know the temptation is very strong.
You both need a counselor. One for yourself to deal with the emotional trauma you are experiencing and another one for him. He needs a male counselor and he needs male accountability.
But don't let that get you entirely out of the picture. Both of you can get help together. If he is genuine, there may still be hope.
Trust is in part a decision and no one can help you with it. You need extreme discernment for the well-being of everyone and that cannot be a decision that can come easily. No one can tell you how the exact path to healing is but you and yourself. Remember there may be compasses, but never maps. Be willing to "recalculate route" once in a while like the GPS - and know that life is not about perfection but about overcoming in imperfection. My thoughts are with you.Take care.
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