my fiance and porn

[tyonaB]

Hello I need to no is it okay for my fiance to constantly watch porn and look up naked girls and I tell him I don't like for him to do that it makes me feel unattractive because its like he's going to the internet for girls when he has me he says he sees nuthen wrong with it I don't no wat to do and on top of that when he gets mad he calls me ugly nasty looking and tells me no body will want me he all so has blacked my eye not too long ago

[DreamNaut]

I think most guys have watched porn sometimes in their life.. or do so while single.
But since he's in a relationship sounds more like an addiction to me, which is usually the result from watching porn :)  

You need to take control of the situation and tell him you do not approve..

Good luck and God bless.

[Lovelycurse18]

Set a good example for your children. Would you want them to stay in a abused relationship? Make them your motivation. They shouldn't see you be treated that way.

[RockRose]

Tyona,  you're in an emotionally and physically abusive relationship,  and you have two kids who are depending on you.

I went to your profile and am so dismayed that you're trying to get pregnant again,  for the 4th time.  You don't say what led to you putting your son up for adoption recently,  but at this point in your life you REALLY need to rethink and reorder your life,  and don't get pregnant again at the age of 19.

This man isn't capable of a loving relationship.  It's time to start rethinking what you want to do with your life,  and how to best raise your two children.

Best wishes,  and prayers for you.  I'm sorry you're recovering from a miscarriage.  I know how hard that is.

[nananeedsthis]

You've got kids, that proves you are strong. I don't know any man strong enough to take care of the kids, and do all the things that have to be done to keep things going at home, without breaking down. Everyone know woman multi-function better than men. That takes strength. He's going to start abusing the kids as well as you. Get out!!!  He is only trying to put you down, so he can bring himself up the ladder, don't be low enough to let him get away with it!!!.

[tyonaB]

Well last night me n my so called fiance got n to it last night he told me some things that really hurt me he told me that he has been talking with a gurl at work and that he does not like me and that I'm soo ugly he does not even no why he is with me I try and hold on to what I thought we had but I don't think its any point he will ever change he will do or so what ever just to hurt me as badly as he possibly can I no I need to leave him and move on with my life but after being with him for three years and having kids its kinda hard to let go I need help how do I let go n get strong enough to leave him

[Healthadvisory]

your not in a good situation. its time to re-evaluate your life . A man just should be saying that to a woman.  think about your situation ans a third person. you need to move on.

[margypops]

yup oh brother , time to go,demeaning and will never change ..even if he says he will it wont happen .good luck we all deserve better than this .

[tyonaB]

Well last night o found out that my so called fiance was sending pics of his private parts to a gurl from a chatline and was talking to her this happend last month in january but that does not matter if he is doing that behind my back what eles has he done I'm sick of it I'm 19 and have my hole life ahead of me with two kids I'm going through a lot right now and he's not makung things any better I'm tired of every thing

[nananeedsthis]

An abuser is an abuser, and will never change...you can't change him either. For your safety, please get out. Life has so much more to offer you...get rid of him, don't go looking, it will come to you. Just be patient. My best wishes to you.

[margypops]

He wont change , you deserve better ,we all do, time to look for a kind guy who will consider your feelings and not abuse you Good luck

[thatquietgirl]

Whether or not porn is ok in a relationship depends on those involved.  My boyfriend knows I'm not overly thrilled about the idea of porn and I didn't even have to ask for him to get rid of it.

If your fiance can't respect your request for him not to, especially when you gave him reasons why, and he calls you names and hits you, then that's not a healthy relationship.  You need to get out of that before it gets to your wedding day.  He's not going to get better, if this is how he is now.  You can't change him, if that's the way he's going to act.  You deserve someone who will respect your wishes and treat you like you deserve, which is not with emotional and physical abuse like this guy.

[AnnieBrooke]

ps -- You are lovely.  He's an idiot as well as an abuser.

[AnnieBrooke]

Darling, if he calls you ugly and nasty-looking, and has blacked your eye, you should have been gone already.  That is not a fiance, it is an abuser.  Don't stay, sweetheart.  SOMEONE WILL WANT YOU AND LOVE YOU AND TREAT YOU LIKE A WONDERFUL PERSON.  Walk out, don't look back.  Get on with your life, do things that make you happy.  Get involved in something bigger than yourself, like the church, or helping others less fortunate, or animal welfare or (there are a million choices) and get your life together.  Even a rented furnished room is a happy place if you are there safe and taking care of yourself.  The porn is only part of the nasty package.  He does not deserve you.  Time to go.  

Take care.

Annie