my mother hit mee

my mom always used to get overly mad at me. she'd throw me against walls for accidently spilling salt on the counter. she'd tell mee how much she hated me and how she never wanted to see me again, then she'd drive me to my dads house at 2 in the morning. one day, we were in the car and everything was fine, she asked me to call my uncle and i did. i hung up and told my mom he didnt answer. she started going OFF on me cuz i didnt leave a voicemail, "Jesca what the hell ! do you do this to all your friends too?!" blah blah blah. then she slapped me across the face and cut my eye, i couldnt see out of it for the day. it always turns bright red, and i have major headaches all the time because of it. my dad got so mad and threatened to take full custody of me. she got pissed and left me. she moved to england with her fiancee who she didnt even tell me about, i found it out. then she came back for a week wanting to see me but i refused. she went to arizona for a month then came back again but yet again i refused to see her.she left once again to arizona. saying shee will never come back. my mom had always lied to me, she hid bad bad things from me and ive found out MANY things bout her for the past nine years. she scared me for life by some of the things shees done. things i dont even want to mention.

[margypops]

I am so sorry this is happening to you, no one deserves to be treated like this, are you living at your Dads now? maybe a good idea to let Mom alone for the moment if you are okay and at school at your Dads house, just go with the flow and make your life good where you are,perhaps if you let Mom alone she will reailse how much she misses you. Reading your post I would say ,make a life at Dads house, you can be friends with Mom when you are older. Fill your life with friends, doing well at school, being part of your Dads life, he must be very fond of you to say he would go for custody, maybe he should do that.Concentrate on YOU, put the negative thoughts of her behavior to one side and focus on the positive things going on around you.

[Lauren328]

Sweetie, I am so sorry to hear this has happened to you. If your face gets bright red and you get a major headache from her slapping you, obviously it's pretty hard. Please just continue to live with your dad and NEVER go back to living with your mom or even seeing her. I know you might need a woman in your life, but this is not the type of woman you need. As you get older, you are gonna get mouthier and start talking back more because of those crazy hormones, and I don't wanna find out what will happen to you if you do talk back. Your mom obviously is bipolar or has a major mental issue, and she definitely is not the type of person you need to grow up around. Good luck and God bless you!

[TwiceShyNow]

Oh, Honey girl!  What was she THINKING??!?
I am a mother who wanted my daughter SO badly that I prayed for years that God would send me a baby girl.  You didn't deserve this. You deseved to be born to someone who loves you infinitely and unconditionally.  How I wish every mom appreciated her daughter like I do.  I am so sorry you don't have that, but know that there are kind and wonderful women in the world who would love to help you along, and I hope you find one of them to guide you kindly into womanhood.  Please don't ever feel responsible for your mom's bad behavior.  You already know how erratic and arbitrary her outbursts are when you point out how she blows up over the tiniest issue.  She sounds as if she could have a psychological problem (bipolar sounds accurate). I hope she gets help. But most importantly, YOU deserve the help.

Be alert to the fact that there are two dangers posed to you in growing up with an abusive parent. One is the harm she does to your heart every time she does this- and I am so sorry you have had to endure this. The second is the fact that you have been conditioned to tolerate violent, abusive behavior from someone you love.  This can cause you to make compromises in your choices of friends now and in adult romantic relationships later. If you can, I would recommend getting in to see a counselor who specializes in helping abuse victims recover and become stronger so that they can move beyond the hurt, and then you will be in a good position to choose just the rignt company.