need help for depression caused by sexual touching

for the last couple of years since my son turned 16, he has been very angry towards us, his parents but especially me, when he was 16, he was violent in his action and words, he showed no repect for us and he generally was self destructive, last incident was 2 days ago when he got into argument with his dad, and they almost started fist fighting,.  During this i told him to stop and asked him what was wrong that he was so full of hate and he finally told me that he was touched by his dad, his dad heard this and said he doesnt know what he is talking about, 2 days later and iam still trying to figure out what i should do, how do i help my son deal with this, and what about his dad, I have never had any suspicions, and havent been able to function since finding out.  I asked his dad if he did this, and he denies it, I believe that kids dont lie about such things.  Now i dont know what to believe, i am sick with worry, any advice

[margypops]

I do believe that you go with your gut in this instance I also thinkl Children tell the truth,you have my sympathy as this isnt an easy road..Ask your son ,alone, pertinent questions about time, and actual happenings , it would explain the anger he has, if you doubt it, bring in a professional who will know what to look for , and help your son . I know you are sick with owrry its a tough thing, many have gone through it . stay focused and ask for help .My feelings tell me that you believe your son unless it is proved otherwise and what reason would he have to lie ?

[narla]

First your son needs to talk to a professional who deals with child abuse,then In my opinion you and your husband need counselling to get to the truth,It's obvious your husband won't admit to you that he touched your son but he might be more open with a counsellor,you will need to use different counsellors.You must also validate your sons feelings and let him know you are there for him,I wouldn't question him too hard let a professional do the asking.

Good Luck  Denise                      

[specialmom]

I agree that he should see a child therapist.  If he is making that up, that would indicate severe issues that need to be dealt with.  If he is not making it up, there are still severe issues to be dealt with.  I'd give your son the benefit of the doubt here as you'd feel terrible if he is speaking the truth.  Take him to a psychotherapist right away.  good luck

[piinkpanther]

i have to say that if he is filled with that much hate..fist id want to know why..second i would take it with a grain of salt..he maybe your son..but there has also been many days of him oressuring you both. something is cuasing his anger...and it might not be in the home..i have a theory..that he is so mad at you both for not being able to protect him...from what..what he said your husband did..this does happen.. he might very well have been ...hurt..but not by the dad..but soemone else..and in the childs rage blamed it on the father,.. i would walk softly on this one..i was molested when i was,..younger..and i am still very very angry at my parents,..they were not there to help me..just a suggestion...