persecuted?

[melisa92]

only or mostly bad things happen...to me.. i cant make any friends-- i am 'always' totally alone.. i have no one....i am young beautiful vibrant have everything going for me-- people anywhere i encounter loathe and despise me-- for no reason...i look like the person people should be flocking to but instead people persecute me-- i get targeted, insulted, harassed, abused, persecuted....literally...i have 'no' friends...the only people who come into my life try to use/abuse/torture me to extremes and insadistic ways...people have destroyed my life over and over again...there is nothing i can do to change this....ive been 'single' all my life-- cant meet a man..despite the fact that i am extremely beautiful/appealing....i cant meet anyone? men i meet try to use me cruelly and ditch me-- every guy i meet... i have been dealing with this for 13 years now...it is appalling shocking and so strange...EVERYONE has the SAME reaction to me and treats me the 'same' way...i get no breaks...it is constant- non-stop suffering or loneliness...that's it..if people are around me they abuse torment insult harass me use me try to get something off me and leave me floored....this is the ONLY thing that has happened to me- i can't have any fun go places hang out---everyone does EVERYTHING to make my life hell.....i can 'feel' that im alone and that im trapped in some kind of energetic vortex, with bound chains and i can't break free of them...im being forced to go through this spiritual hell and i can't get out....b/c im 'alone and beautiful' predators flock to me to use manipulate attack harass torment me in very cruel ways and use my loneliness against me....so they can try to use me for their sick desires which isnt even sexual....its just control/torture
men wont even please me sexually..or use me sexually....only to control/torture/manipulate yet im a sexual goddess and drop dead gorgeous....why is this happening to me?? im a good person never hurt anyone never would want to-- ONLY do good...not manipulate bad clever evil--nothing just pure good.... i cant make friends with 'ANYONE"..every human despises me....they give me dirty looks, act stupid..run away, are rude, mean...outcast me....mock me....why??? why would people mock a sweet innocent gorgeous nice pure angelic female??? are people just so evil.....they dont od it to others-- just me... the worst part is-- i cant make any friends in life?? no one will hang around me, people hate me....put me down...for no reason ? every person reacts the SAME way to me???? how is this possible??? they mess with me, screw with me, are rude mean derogatory etc...treat me in this specific way.... ive never witnessed anything like it in my life....ive been dealing with it for many years.....i dont understand it....but im in my 30's and aside from never having a real boyfriend, i have no friends...yet i have a 'star like' celebrity appeal, am extremely beautiful and stand out....and yet everyone hates or is jealous of me-- i mean every human i meet??? ive been to counselors-- they were horrible-- all treated me the same way-- rude mean....some insulted me...others just listened and did nothing to help and some mocked me...they all treated me the way people treat me....and no one helped-- no one tries or cares to help me-- everyone just tries to bring me down ruin/destroy me....ive had several or manypeople go out of their way to destroy my life and succeed...ive never heard of thsese kind of horrors....to one innocent girl...over and over again by so many people...and for what reason? anytime i try to do anything-- there are 10 people there to try to stop me in extreme and excessive ways....everyone i try to get help from, either turns on or against me or turns away from me...this is no joke...ive received NOTHING positive from people....only extreme hatred/negativity.....im a very loving/compassionate person and want to spread my love/kindness/friendliness to others....but if im nice to people or friendly, tehy treat me like dirt, insult, go crazy and sometimes just act psycho.... ive been told...its 'karmic' and in past lives...ive done 'bad things to people' i dont know if its trueor not but in this 'life' i am literally an 'angel' who only does good and wants to spread love/positivity/good, but all i get is extreme opposition/hatred---its almost as if people hate me b/c im a force of 'good'.....why people abuse me so badly is beyond me...im not treated like a woman...the beautiful amazing woman i am-- im treated lower than a monster and lower than anything ive ever witnessed in my life....all humans persecute me and throw negative energy at me....this is not an exaggeration....ive been suffering like this for many many years....i dont know why or what to do about it....i cant change my nature and be mean or aggressive....i cant battle so many people everywhere....can jealousy cause people to want to destroy a gorgeous innocent girl and why me? when there are lots of gorgeous nice women out there....why do people target me? if i walked into a place...amongst a group of people..there 'will' be people who will either trash talk me, talk bad about me or try to blame me for something....try to make me look bad...people ignore me, won't talk to me...everyone does 'everything' to not be positive to me, isolate, outcast, persecute....again this is not an exaggeration...its 'everyone' i have encountered...at least 98% of people or more......this is ALL i have to endure 24/7....and being so 'beautiful'...i cant even meet a guy or get a boyfriend-- its really odd....im sweet genuine loyal caring monogamous beautiful, amazing nice....yet men don't chase me...they treat me like garbage and run away from me...outcast insult harass run away screw me over try to use me---EVERY male ive ever met does this to me-- use me in the cruellest ways...while they cater to other women....why?? i witness other beautiful women-- they are stuck up mean rude....they have hordes of men flocking to them but a nice caring sweet amazing girl, gets treated lower than dirt...why??? my only 'boyfriend' wasnt one, he was a sociopath who was using me to control/abuse/torture mentally...and sadistically...refused sex with me tho im a virgin...and just used me to mock/harass/torment long distance mostly...he wouldnt even be in my presence and just tortured me for fun....charged me money to see him...used me so horribly i cant even explain...put me thru mental trauma i can never get over and worse, i cant even go to a counselor to get help b/c no one will help me-- this is no joke...NO ONE will help me? everyone...just tries to do the same thing-- manipulate, screw with me...etc...everyone ive met so far...why this is happening to me...is unfair odd and shocking...why a gorgeous beautiful amaznig normal nice girl can't even get help from a counselor and only insults and mockery....no im not 'crazy, paranoid, exaggerating, perceiving things wrong'....ive been dealing with this many many years...ive had people with me saying....they didnt understand 'why' the people were treating me so badly..or..WOW that person was RUDE to you.... no its not that i have people to 'hang out with'-- i have to meet random people off the internet who treat me like garbage too....those are the people im 'talking about' ...ive been with people who've said...WOW...EVERYONE is staring at you??? omg...everyone's staring at you.... in some situations...what im saying is that what happens to me is very bizarre...it makes no sense yet...there is no solution to it? im forever an unfortunate 'LONER" with not a single friend in the world-- literally...yet am amazing beautiful person ....and everyone in my life has destroyed me, ...anyone i encounter treats me like a monster or freak, yet im an incredibly pretty girl? and if 'every' human treats u this way-- just about....how can you survive on this planet being a loner who is persecuted?

[margypops]

Ha Ha Ha ...you certainly do... whatever you are talking about because I dont know , do you ?LOL

[Flavoured]

To be completely honest with you, Mellisa, if 98% of people you meet end up treating you bad, that you feel there isn't a single person you are friends with, then it's time to take a long and hard look at yourself. EVERYBODY can't be mean and wicked to you at all times. There has to be someone that really likes you for YOU. Every one (being honest again IMO) cannot hate you, unless there are some certain vibes you pass on to them, and they in turn treat you bad.


How old are you? You sound like you gave a very high opinion of how you look. Of which a healthy dose is good. But when you keep calling yourself an 'angel' and saying stuff like you are 'very beautiful' you are 'sweet' while all these may be a good desciption of who you are, people generally want to see your personality, and how you relate with people. As a saying goes 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder' you may look pretty to a certain person, and the complete opposite to another person. So try and work with yourself on this, and you may be better for it.

[allmymarbles]

By the way, I reserve the right to disagree with you. There wouldn't be much help for anyone if we all had the same opinions.

[margypops]

thank you, thats what I meant ,I also have found that to be true ...

[allmymarbles]

I have found, with exceptions of course, that extremely knowledgeable and insightful people post on these forums

[margypops]

Hi Melisa I know some of the posts here sound hard and are hard to take, but read them all through you wont get better therapy for sevaral hundred bucks than you got here, thing is to open up read it all and digest what is meant by each poster ...If you can do that ,come back and tell us how it has helped...  good luck

[cheshchesh819]

I agree maybe people can pick up on how much you love yourself,each to their own how we feel about ourselves,but when a person lets off vibes that she is the one the bomb gods gift to life then that is when people shy away,noone wants to be around a big head and feeling like they are always second best to a sex goddess,and as for strangers treating like this your vibes must be very strong when walking around,maybe you should concentrate on a personality change instead of expecting the world to change.

[RockRose]

Melisa,  if this post is actually for real,  and you are looking for help,  let me offer this:  what you are saying is simply not true.  

It's simply not true.  If you go up to the grocery store check out girl,  with a smile on your face,  it's not true that she is insulting and rude to you.  Maybe 1 in 50 would do that.  All the rest are either completely neutral,  or friendly.  

That's just the way it is.  

Let me also offer this - just reading your post,  you are very off-putting.  If you put out vibes in person the way  you do in this post,  I'm not surprised you don't have any long term friendships at all - your thoughts are not attractive.

But when you say absolute strangers are rude and insulting to you - ALL of them,  ALL the time,  that's simply not true.  There is something completely wrong with your perception of the world.

I think you should ask someone - very honestly and humbly - that you've known a long time for help in discovering why you can't  form relationships.  Just say I'm not going to be made,  I just want information because I'm at a crossroads in my life where I am terribly lonely and lost and confused.  And then when they tell you what you are doing that's so off-putting,  don't fight them about it.  Just believe it, and work to make things better.

[allmymarbles]

The last entry was meant for you.

[allmymarbles]

As I read this over, I find that it is so full of extremes (you are every man's dream; everyone despises you) that you must be having a bit of fun with us. Are you pulling our collective legs?

[kenneltech]

Is this for real?  "I am drop dead gorgeous."  In whose opinion, yours?  Maybe it is that exact feelings of yourself that comes out in your countenance and you act too unapproachable.  

It also seems like this pattern is over and over and over again, YOU have to learn which people to let into your life.  It seems like you are picking men that are mean and creeps, set your standards a little higher and stop coming off a so desperate.  What are you going to do when your "beauty" fades with age?   Bet you can get men and friends then.

Saying that you are "universally despised" makes me kind of wonder if you are a little paranoid and this is all in your head.  That's a pretty heavy comment, and totally unrealistic.  Is this how you come off to people when they try to get to know you?  That could be half of your problem.  Sorry, but I don't believe it's everyone's fault but yours.  Work on yourself.

[allmymarbles]

You are more interested in yourself than other people. That might be one of the problems. Also, you seem to be a "needy" person. Needy people have a void that cannot be filled and tend to sell themselves cheap. (Among the celebrities, Marilyn Monroe comes to mind.) Neediness may be attractive to users and abusers, but not to healthy men.

You assume your beauty gives you a free ride. It doesn't. You claim you are universally despised. Is this true, or are you merely expressing your disappointment that the world does not flock to your side?

Beauty can be a curse. Often beautiful people do not develop as fully as their less gifted fellows. I always wondered why I was attracted to men who were not handsome and realized it was because they were more interesting and complex.

[jeepgirl84]

When you are around other people, do you hold your head up or do you look at the ground? I ask this because people see a confident person when you hold your head up but a doormat when you look at the ground. And people like to step on doormats. You have to change your attitude...when you meet people, do you tell them about how everyone dislikes you and how they abuse you? That can cause people to shy away from getting to know you. Forget how pretty you are. That's just a bow on top of a package...what's inside the package is what counts. Try to think of your good qualities (not your looks) and try to work on them. If you were at a party, would YOU like to spend time with you? What would you say in a conversation with yourself? What would you talk about, (again NOT you looks). You sound like a nice person and I do want you to be happy. You have to start with yourself, find some happiness with in yourself and hold your head up! What do like to do? Is there something that you would enjoy...painting, a book club, etc. Do something you enjoy doing, really get interested in something FOR YOU, When you feel more confident and less down on life, you will be amazed how people will be attracted to you.  Keep us all informed as to how you are doing. I hoped I helped a little and maybe if you think about what I have said, well maybe you can come up with a solution to some of your problems. God Bless.

[margypops]

I think that most people like outgoing happy people Looks help.. but I have known other women who are good listeners, funny, dont talk about them selves, and show an interest in others .Very often it is our attitude to life helps us win friends and draw people to us, a positive attitude evn when we dont feel great helps...I agree with mten above that maybe some differant counselling may help you, and try not to dwell on any problems start thinking about the good things in your life .good luck..

[myenzoorka]

The only specific examples of people being mean to you that you gave were: "why are you this", "why don't you stand up for yourself" and "don't bother her."  The "don't bother her" comment isn't exactly nice, no - especially from a mother.  The "why are you this" is too vague to know what the intention is behind it.  But the "why don't you stand up for yourself" comment is most likely supposed to be a statement of support - just not everyone says it in a supportive way.  Someone who is making that comment is, most likely, trying to encourage you to be more assertive about your needs... not say anything derogatory about you.

Your concerns could be better addressed if you were more specific about what is said/done to you.  You mention that you are abused by almost everyone.  In what ways are you being abused?  It's hard to determine what's going on without specific examples of situations.

One thing I did notice... you seem to have a fixation on your physical beauty.  It's good that you are confident about your looks.  But, after reading how beautiful you are dozens of times, it starts to get old.  Do you talk about your beauty with others?  Do you compare their looks to yours?  Do you greet people with a comment about your looks?  That can definitely put people on the offensive.  Most people don't want to hold a conversation about the other person's beauty.  Is it possible you talk about this too much with others?

You also mentioned that you've seen counselors and they have all been rude/abusive/etc.  You do have a right to make a formal complaint in those situations - it is professionally inappropriate for them to treat patients in such ways.  Reporting them may actually lead you to a counselor who would be better for you.  It would be nice for you to elaborate on how they were mean to you.  It's definitely not common to run into several counselors who all act this way.  Knowing specifics would help to find the underlying problem.

[melisa92]

to add to this...yes u can say their reactions may be 'WOW" or reaction to my being pretty but let me explain-- they arent good reactions-- it is extreme...nastiness, abuse meanness....very rarely do i get a 'WOW youre hot" reaction...its usually contempt, hatred, abuse horror...really really bad stuff....and if 'every' human treats u this way-- just about....how can you survive on this planet being a loner who is persecuted? all i get fro people is abuse/negativity--oh...WHY did u keep going back to him? oh WHY are u this..WHY dont u stand up for yourself...all i get is manipulation and abuse....negativity...yet if somenoe came to me, i would treat them only with compassion help...guidance....yet no one helps to guide me and im the persno who people throw into a gutter constantly....i dont know what to do...or how to deal with this.....people have done such horrible things to me....and gotten away with them...and i keep suffering and they live ok....and the things people do to me-- aer so shocking cruel mean...and it is non-stop?? i dont know what to do...who to turn to--no one is helpful or nice...no one says-- hey aer you ok? come visit me...let's hang out...have a good time...never...people wont invite me over and a woman who's place i used to go to for some kind of comfort, my mother said "dont bother her"...if i go to people saying "this person did this bad thing to me" all i get is more hostility negativity from that person...never kindness or help....but what i witness is others get kindness and help from others...but people throw only extreme hostility to me....i dont know what to do or who to get help from...there have to be some decent people in this world left...who won't treat a good person lower than dirt....i dont get why this is even happening to me-...
its true that people sometimes feel this way in life-- when things go bad-- or in general, but for me...its different...this is almost every human interaction i have...this is something ive never hoenstly witnessed in my life....ive seen pretty girls, all types of people...people get treated in different ways--there are rude people, nice people etc...but with me..it's different....i get treated with contempt...people try to throw me in the gutter...everyone....they dont allow me a voice, an opinion...if it ry they will undermine me....they make sure to have total power/control over me...i have so many people who've done everything just to gain control of my life and in extreme ways...and more predators to join the bandwagon of the initial ones....then its fending between narcissists/abusers...who are all manipulating me in the same extreme ways...and no one to turn to-- with a 'cruel world' that really is very cruel to you...and not a single friend in the world....just people who give you bizarre looks, treat you badly, or treat u like you're some 'worthless "hot girl" who they can treat like garbage.... its a trap that you can't seem to get out of....ive been from counselor to counselor-- person to person....yes seeking some guidance, help...such as...can u please at least show some kindness...even that will help--yet no kindness...only more abuse....is this just the nature of people today? that there are not real kind people out there or why do they not show kindness to me and only contempt....this is even upon...witnessing me...this isnt anything other than 'appearance/vibe/presence'....ive had people say "youre a powerful person"....but who cares...none of it makes sense...even the meanest rudest people...even the hottest , even the anything dont get treated teh way i get treated....and i dont know what to do about it-- except know that im going to be living life just suffering...at the hands of 'everyone'...and people say "oh put your boundaries' yet when i try, all i get is more abuse from-- whoever is doing it-- and that can be anyone or everyone-- i get kicked/banned from places....anything for people to show me, they have the 'upper hand' over me....is there a reason this is happening....to someone like me or to anyone