pill popper?

So I'm new to the community, and i've done some research on Xanax and the long term effect.  
(by the way, HI EVERYONE!!)
i've been on xanax (about 10 years) and various antidepressents (for about 20 years, and i'm 34!)
i've also been smoking pot for about 22 years, and still do daily.
the research i've done are conflicted reports.  some say xanax if very helpful, others curse it.  
I went from 1 - 1 1/2mg a day to 2 - 3mg a day in just 2 months.  
i cry a lot.  i don't enjoy life like i used to.  My nickname was "smilie" for years, and i feel its gone.
i'm don't have the "gift of gab" anymore... am i losing myself to this?
has anyone been on this god damed drug for more than 3 years, and if so, how are you feeling???
thanks!
peace and love :)

[mommyofKassandCora]

Once it becomes an addiction.. it's not fun or nice anymore... You won't feel good or smile anymore.  Yes I've been there.  

[kathy434]

camie,

My doctor prescribed Xanax for me for perhaps a few months.  I was not taking the lowest doseage, but for some reason he decided to start weaning me off the medication.  I was in the hospital at the time, thank goodness.  I felt as though electrical voltage was sourcing through my body and arms and jaw.  I kept telling him how horrible I felt, and it was hard to walk or talk.  After two weeks of the weaning off, and it was the last day of my hospitalization, I suddenly experienced a Grand Mal Seizure.  I knew absolutely nothing about it until I came to with medical personnel assisting me.  I felt totally dazed, but all that "voltage" coursing through me was totally gone.  My body was totally relaxed from there out.


I would never take even one Xanax after this experience.  I had become addicted in a very short period and didn't know it.  So you had better work with your doctor very closely, on weaning yourself off.  There are plenty of other medications for anti-anxiety today that are not addicting like Xanax.

Your losing that gift to gab may actually be a result of depression.  You should consult your doctor.  Also on the internet are "tests" you can take to determine if you are having symptoms of depression.  I suffered major depression a long time ago.  Eventually we managed to figure out that I am Bipolar 1.  That was good because then they could treat me correctly, and I started to feel much better.  Today I am "smiley again" and I have gotten back that gift to gab.
Good luck and God Bless.                            K