what do i do

hey my dad is verbally abusive but i miss having a dad and dont feel like i can totally remove him from my life. i want to forgive but im scared to be hurt

[margypops]

Hi Leah I am sorry you have a Dad who is abusive ,is he only this way with you, is he your bio-Dad or step dad? I am assuming it is verbal and not physical abuse also do you know what triggers the abuse,, is he like this with your Mom.You say you miss having a Dad so is he your life sometimes but not all the time?

[leah1503]

he is not only this way with me hes like this with my brother by making fun of him (hes not really as abusive towards my brother). Hes also like this by far with my mom he shoved her around threatned to leave us when we were at the beach with no way of getting home (mostly everytime or he would scar us by screaming and stuff). He is my real dad. But nothing really trigers the abuse he just enjoys it like when me and my mom would get really upset he would smile and giggle. But finally after 23 years of abuse to my mom and thirteen to me we left on jan. 12 2008. Also now that we have left i have grown a lot of back bone. so when i finally stick up for myself he acts like nothing is wrong. Because now he is trying to take me and my brother away from my mom because he wants to hurt her and even heard him yell at her "your going to be on the outside looking in" (he also started to email me like a week ago that had some pretty harsh stuff in from me and that would be an example of him acting like nothing is wrong and i'll let you see them if you like.)

[margypops]

How old are you, as you know most courts in any country will let you say who you want to live with so dont worry that he will be able to take you away that cant happen unless your Mom was a really bad Mom,nor your brother ,he probably knows this.It sounds as if it is good you are away from him and he wont change unless he sees the abuse for what it is and stops.You are right to stick up for your self you tell a bully "Stop" I will not take this anymore ' you tell him you will only speak to him or see him if he stops his abuse,and you walk away and  stay away ,till he says sorry and mends his ways, your Mom should have done this years ago, to some extent she has allowed this to happen, well you dont have to.. if you have left him how come he is still yelling at your Mom she doesnt have to be near him?Change your e-mail address so he cant send you e-mails, I know it hurts but if you are to have any relationship he has to stopthis and he wont whilst you allow him to do it...,,

[hopefulgirl26]

Leah Im sorry that you have to go threw this but I dont want you to feel alone you can send me a message anytime and I will try my best to help you. And also if I were you I would not erase none of the emails that he has sent you make sure you print them or save them somehow so that your mom could take them to court for your defense. I sent you a note a little while ago so dont forget to read it and write me back soon.

[ellieishgirl]

hi, i sorta know how you feel

[EpicMango]

If you have gotten away from him, write him off and never ever speak to him again! you deserve a better parent, not that lump of ****!