People who abuse others have most times learned this abuse from their childhood. Somewhere along the line they made a choice that there were two primary positions in this life, to be the abuser or to be the abused. Instead of looking for an equal partner, people suffering from this type of past are looking for a co-dependent in the opposite symbiotic role that the have taken. If you are abuser, you will look for someone to abuse, and if you have been abused, you will accept someone in your life who is an abuser. And there's plenty out there Simply.
Substance abuse is often a result of an abusive childhood that has gone untreated, and it can often expedite a problem already brewing. In treatment our first step is to "peel away the onion" and look at the underlying reasons why our relationships are unhealthy.
If you need help because you are being abused, please be open here. We are anonymous, and you have nothing to lose, and everything to gain. May God watch over you. If you need to talk, please feel free to message me. I came from abuse, accepted it in my first marriage, and used drugs to try to overcome it. I am now clean and sober since July 99 (as well as my partner) and now am enjoying healthy relationships. I was co-dependent and now I'm free. Liz
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