Am I doing this right?

I've had 4 epidurals over the past year due to bad discs.  None have worked long enough to keep me out of pain.  The pain management Doc I have now has me on 6 10/325 Norcos a day and 2 somas per day for a month.  I can sometimes get to the third week but I'm typically at that point trying to find a way of how to get more.  I'm embarrassed to even say how I've been able to get more.  I finally fessed up to my hubby this week that I have a problem.  He welcomed me with warm arms and lots of support...I think he just wants our life with our girls to get back to normal.  We were able to get some 5/325 Norcos to help me get through until my next appt on 12/21.  How I have abused them and the amount I've been taking is approximately 80-100mg of hydrocodone each day.  With the prescription we got, to get me through until 12/21 I've gone down to 20mg of hydrocodone and I have had withdrawl (withdrawal) symptoms for a couple days now.  My legs are so restless, I can't sleep, eat or get motivated to do anything.  Have I cut back to much?  I can't go cold turkey until I see my orthopedic Doc and he decides if I can have surgery.  At that point if he says no, I go back to my Pain Doc and he keeps me on a lowest dose possible.  I just need to get to the point where I actually can make it through the prescription.  I haven't been able to do that for awhile.  I know I'm addicted.  I hate myself for it...I just want to be me again.
Thank you,
Sara