My sister is 27 and lives very far from me. We used to talk on the phone almost every day but since she became involved with her last boyfriend about four years ago, she has slipped further and further away from me. She has two beautiful girls, 4 and 5. She used to be the best little Mother. Her last boyfriend was very abusive, physicaly, emotionaly and verbaly. He would do very violent things towards my sister right in front of her children. I thought that the distance that has grown between us was because of him and all that has happened. She even told my Mother that she doesn't call me any more because I act too much like a "Mother." I am a realtor and recently took a Meth Awareness class for my continuing education. What I learned blew me away. I was shocked. Ironically, a month later my Mother visited my Sister for about 10 days. When she came home she described the horrible condition of the house (my sister has always been a meticulous cleaner) and the way she treated her children, cussing them. She even said that my nieces hid from her when she became outraged over trivial incidents. She described all the classic signs, up for days, sleeping for days, sores all over her body and the beleif of bugs being under her skin, the whole 9 yards.
We have tried everything we know to do to get her to come and be with us but she always has a reason why she can't. She doesn't think we know about the meth. She is verbally abusing the children and putting herself and the kids in danger. I feel horrible about this, but I felt we had to do something, so I called the Dept. of human services in her area and they were horrible and refused to become involved unless I release my personal info. I want to help but I have to do it secretely or she may run off to never be seen again with the kids. Also, she has been suicidal and refuses to get any help.
My family is at such a road block and we want to help her but she is 1500 miles away. We cannot afford to go there and be with her for any length of time, and even so, would we be able to convince her to get help. Most importantly, I am concerned for the innocent children involved. Meth is dangerous for everyone in the home. DHS does not seem to take this situation seriously, and from my research, I've learned that METH is not so common in her area, so the local police don't know much about it yet.
I am so worried for my sister and her girls and have no idea what to do next.
I'm so glad that your sister has a family who cares so much, and it's so hard to have such distance, geographically and emotionally. I'm sorry you feel so bad about your sister spiraling out of control. Do you know for sure your sister is on methadone? Did you know of her drug habits prior to this? Feeling bugs under his skin is a strong indicator. What do you know about her suicide thoughts?
Thanks for your reply. I have been in contact with her recently but it is always some crazy conflict from which she see's no fault of her own. I was recently on the phone with her when I heard her cuss her daughter. Nothing makes sense to me. She had some previous issues with pills as a result of a very painful car accident and a boyfriend who broke her shoulder bone. There is no way for us to protect her when she is so far away.
I am sure it's meth. I think it began as she was trying to come off the pills and it was the only thing that could provide some relief from the withdrawls.
She has not seemed suicidal recently, and when I try to talk to her about it she changes the subject or hangs up. I think she is embarrassed to discuss it because she realizes how desperate it makes her look. As far as I'm concerned- all threats are to be taken seriously. People only talk like that if they are desperate. I just wish there was more I can do. I worry about her and her girls every day.
Don't want to sound harsh but, she has to decide she wants and needs help. Methadone is my drug of choice and have begun suboxone treatment. I feel normal for the first time in years. No craving, no high, just clear. I couldn't taper, I tried for years and I wanted to soooo mad. If she has access to internet you might mention suboxone casually and hope she looks into it. It helps with pain and stops withdrawal in 30 minutes. It must be done correctly. Click on Amino Acid protocol at the bottom of this page and that will help with withdrawal. Most addicts are malnourished. Methadone is one of the most difficult drugs to detox from. That is what worked for me. No one answer is available. Every body and mind is different. Thank you for looking out for your family, that is so important. I wish there was an easy solution, but there isn't. Good luck and God bless.
Call dss its hard n she might have problems but them babies dont deserve.a mom who clearly doesnt care for their health. Being shes allowing not only abusive guys but also her abusivness n her drugs. She wouldnt talk about killing herself if she were really going to do it. I know all this bc im an ex drug user myself n would never allow that type of behavoir nor drug of any kind around my child. Call dss for the love of your nieces dont not call bc ur scared ur sister might do something stupid. Its hard,yes but they are kifs w. No choice shes a grown adult.
iI hope you are still in contact with your sister, or that you're mother is. I suppose that there has to be some silver lining to not being able to expose yourself as the plaintiff with DHS. I take it your sister doesn't work, and maybe there is nothing holding her where she is. There may be a slim chance that her mothering instincts will guide her home to her loving family to help with her children. Kids grow up so fast........ it won't be too long before they are young adults and you can extend your hand to them, they will need your help. Perhaps you should attend Alanon and learn to be strong from the sidelines. Give yourself a break and don't stand alone with the pain. There are many that are in the same position and i'm sure that the burden will be carried easier with friends and confidants. Looking forward to hearing from you again.
In my experience that sounds more like methamphetamine rather than methadone. Since she is up for days and not "nodding out". None the less you do need to get involved to get her girls out of there. Getting her children could help push her into deciding to get clean. Once she is clean she will understand and thank you but until then she may hold resentments towards you. Honestly if that was my sister I'd rather have my nieces safe than have my sister like me.
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