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Please dont be judgmental and tell me the truth
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Please dont be judgmental and tell me the truth

I am almost 5 months pregnant and found out when I was 2 months. I have smoked crack/cocaine too many times for comfort within these 5 months. Please tell me.... Does my baby have a chance in this world if I stop using now?? : (  Im sorry
18 Comments Post a Comment
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1235186_tn?1339127464
Hello and welcome. We are not here to judge you.Have you seen an Ob doctor already?
It is extremely important for you to go see your doctor and be totally honest with them about your use. They can monitor the baby and you can take classes and attend meetings to help you in your recovery. The doctors are concerned for your and your baby's safety and well being.
Yes your baby has a good chance of being born healthy if you get help now from your doctor. I know you want help and the best for your baby because you came here asking for advice.
Please don't try to hide it from your doctor, the baby's first poop the meconium stores and  will detect substances from very early in the pregnancy.
Is this your first baby? How old are you if I can ask?
We are here to encourage you
Sending prayers,
Debbie
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4113881_tn?1390588112
Nobody is here to judge you:) Please listen to atthebeach...she gave great advice. I just wanted to tell you that its not too late for your baby...dont let your mind think that because it will just be the addiction telling you that so you have an excuse to continue to use...take a stand for you and your baby...you made the first step by posting here...now talk to your doc and get a plan...I promise its not too late!

God bless you and your baby
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Avatar_f_tn
Thank you guys soo much!! I live in Tampa, FL and the drug use here is si much the doctors have no tolerance for using while pregnant and want to look past what you say is a problem. I tried to talk to her about it a week ago and instantly got upset and started talking about my child being taken : (  I was scared after that. I go back home to RI in a few weeks and Id much rather talk to my doctor there... Will it be too late by then? I am 22 years old
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1235186_tn?1339127464
you are welcome.
that is great that you tried to be honest with her and have a talk with her.
are you going to stay in RI? then it would make sense to speak with your new doctor.the doctor who will be delivering the baby is the one who needs to be informed. you have been keeping up with your doctor visits, eating healthy, taking your pre-natal vitamins? have you continued to smoke?
is that the only drug you were doing?
will you then be away from the people, places and things associated with your use? i would be pro-active and start to attend a support groups like na.i am not sure if there is a specific recovery group for crack cocaine or not.  i would suggest counseling, church as much support as your can get.
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4113881_tn?1390588112
You made a good step by being honest with your doc...even though she wont help you...try and get involved in something...see a private therapist...something until you can get to RI. You keep asking if its too late...no it isn't but you need to act now. I know its not easy that's why you have to reach out for help...church...somewhere. Even if you don't believe in God...go to a church and more than likely they can help you. Please do something. If you start thinking its too late...you will just use that as an excuse to keep getting high...I know because Ive done it myself. Im not being judgmental in any way but rather just making you aware of what the addiction will make you think and do.

Please seek out some care before you go to RI...and continue when you get there....keep us posted...we care.

God Bless
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Avatar_f_tn
Honey.. A major reason for miscarages is substance use. Pls be strong. Now its no longer you. U hv to think wats best for your baby. Just think is this buff worth risking your babys health?
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Avatar_f_tn
Honey.. A major reason for miscarages is substance use. Pls be strong. Now its no longer you. U hv to think wats best for your baby. Just think is this buff worth risking your babys health?
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3060903_tn?1390303996
It is what it is honey, using one more time might kill your baby, so you have to stop NOW. You need to talk to your doctor, in case you need to be taking something for any withdrawal. You need to get to a closed women's meeting in CA AA or NA, get a sponsor, make clean and sober friends. There are more than likely reasons why you used in the first place, maybe a problem with your family or origin, you need to be clean and sober to figure out why you used. If you're angry at your family, you will need to forgive them their trespasses, and get on with your life. You have to stop yourself from trying to negotiate how much time you have left to use, before you harm your baby for a lifetime. That's crazy and that's what drugs do to us. Please think about making some friends on here to help you to stay sober, but plan on taking the same path as those who have come before you. I have 5000 clean and sober days, from heroin, crack, prescription opiates, alcohol...... Clean and sober, you can handle anything. I lost my son, got off of drugs, arranged for long term blood and urine testing, outpatient rehab, got a job, bought a house, got into a solid relationship with a great partner (in AA), and got my son back. If I can do it, so can you. All you have to do is to be honest and open with people. Take the right road here dear, and you'll never regret it. Don't and you'll live the rest of your life in a world of pain, and so will your child. I'm proud of you for reaching out, now the work begins, right? I'll help you every step of the way, many of Medhelp would be willing to support you, if you only take the first couple of steps. It's obvious to us, that your life has become unmanageable. (Nobody who is managing their life would put a child's life at risk). This is where you're at, in your recovery. Can you please consider these two statements, and tell us how you feel about them? If you have trouble with the concept of GOD many addicts use the Good Orderly Direction of the 12 step program of Narcotics Anonymous. Are you with us winners?

We admitted that we were powerless over our addiction, that our lives had become unmanageable.
We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

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4658567_tn?1364145723
Like the word IF you stopped using?? Baby should have been first this whole time instead you been putting yourself first.. I would definitely tell your doctor in case something goes wrong.. Also the first trimester is when everything with the baby has already come together. So the drugs could have already done damage but guess IF you stopped you wouldn't do anymore than has been..
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4658567_tn?1364145723
Oh and how you gunna feel if you OD, and by chance the doctors can't save the baby only you? Is it worth it? Personally being a pregnant mom I just can't believe posts like this. If you were going to stop you would have already. I find that you are being self centered. As an adult it is your choice to do these things to your body.. But as an unborn child they have no say..

I have also been an addict to meth. And when your actually ready to stop you will have the will power and do so. If you haven't had that already dunno if you will.. Personally and sorry to say I feel horrible for that baby. And don't think you deserve that baby since you continue to put yourself first. I WOULD NEVER do that to my child!!
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5065239_tn?1363068977
.i never in my life used any kind of drugs until last year.  i had a rough year lots of hurddles to overcome and losses of loved ones i just was having a hard time dealing with life.  i was at a friends house for a weekend and partied.  i had a hysterectomy june 2011 so there was no way in gods creation as my dr put it that i could ever get pregnant again.  so i tried a little bit of everything over the course of the year from x, acid, meth, cocaine, mushrooms, weed...not all at once or in big amounts but just enough to know what each one felt like.  never seeking it out but participating if it was offered never letting myself get addicted bc i couldn't afford the habit if i did.  last month i find out that against all medical explination i am 5 months pregnant with a son that would be my fiances and my last chance to have a child together.  he and i have been pregnant before years ago but i miscarried that son at 6 months gestation.  too many things were unexplainable by drs.  i found out i was pregnant by being a passanger in an auto accident and needing an MRI of my back taken.  my pain management dr called furious with me for not telling him of my pregnancy when it showed up so clearly on the MRI within the 2 weeks of the mri i went from being somewhat flat in the belly to looking like i swollowed a basketball.  going over and over in my mind what i had done over the last 5 months realized that i too had unknowingly exposed my unborn baby to drugs and more recently pain killers rx from the dr.  about a week before the mri was taken i stopped doing anything rx or otherwise but the fact remains that before i even knew i was pregnant i had done something harmful to the baby.  all of my drs are being supportive and helpful along with the love and care of my support system we are anticipating the arrival of our healthy baby boy on july 4th...i hope yours turns out as well as mine has so far.  my son has helped me to heal myself .  i am off all my rx meds and the thought of any other drugs makes me literally want to vomit.  sometimes the best thing for you is something that needs you in return.  good luck.
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Avatar_f_tn
Yes, your baby has a chance if you stop NOW.
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3060903_tn?1390303996
Hey Gemini, you sent me a message but I cannot reply because you have, maybe inadvertently disabled your message center. I'm just going to post it here, there's nothing that is out of line under the circumstances.

Hey Gemini, there's nobody on here that's going to be able to ease your mind or your conscience.  There are some on here that will always tell you what you want to hear, and others that are disgusted, and more still who will tell you that we are simple addicts, we're not doctors. We have no way of telling you what's happening to your child physically, mentally and emotionally. There a host of sites though, written by reputable doctors that you could ask.

The thing is that most addicts on here quit smoking crack, or shooting H when they found out they were pregnant, after their first missed period (30 day gestation when quitting). Even if they went back to using, I don't think that many would use while pregnant.  I quit both when I found out I was pregnant, and I was the worse kind of addict, I really was. I've got HepC from IV drug use. I've been there and back.  

I'm really glad I did, I now have a very smart 24 year old son. Man, the time has just flown by. At your age you have no idea just how fast your life will go by, and how fast the chances to get a life will fly by.  Before you know it, your old, you're old looking, and beat up. The lyrics of Time, by Pink Floyd, sings it best.

And you are young and life is long and there is time to kill today
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun

My son is finishing his Bachelor of Arts, Honors English program at the local university. He hopes to get into an Art Therapy Program because he dreams of teaching art therapeutically. He is the first to get a degree in my family, and the first to backpack through Europe and five other countries in his early 20's.  He "couch surfed" and worked at organic farms throughout Ireland, France, Italy Spain, and a couple of other countries. Our kids become adults sooo quickly, and soon they have minds of their own. If their lucky, they will learn (as mine did) from others mistakes and won't use the past addictions in their family as an excuse to be lazy in their own life. Hopefully we have enough of ourselves to give them some kind of stability and hope for the future. There is no hope for the future when living in a house with active addiction. It kills the hopes and dreams of children,. watching what goes on in with the lifestyle of addiction.

Did you grow up with addiction in your family? That's often where addiction starts, you know? Or abuse, that's another thing that sends kids right to the pipe or the needle.  You haven't mentioned the sex of the child.  Do you know the sex of your child or have you not been having the regular ultrasounds? I'm not sure what all an ultrasound can tell you about the damages that your continued drug use has caused, or is causing.  I don't think that there's much of a test to see if a kid is mentally slow, from their mother ingesting cocaine or not. I think you find that out when they don't hit the "markers" for their age group.  In other words the damages that are being caused are not necessarily something that can be identified, yet. There's probably alot of ADHD which puts these types of kids on drugs, early. They don't have to wait to go to a meth dealer themselves, as the med that's used is a derivative.

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3060903_tn?1390303996
If the child is not born with obvious signs of mental retardation, then the next biggest disadvantage to kids growing up with crack addicted parent's is that they will be so emotionally damaged at an early age because they won't be able to bond properly with other kids at school because of all the things that you miss with addicted parents. They won't be able to bond with the good clean and sober lovely teachers, because they will assume that all adults cannot be trusted, that they are all uncaring, and unable to be sincerely supportive of them.  Let's face it, running after a crack high every hour (your words) you will miss giving your kid any semblance of a normal life. If you continue to stay with the boyfriend, you might as well choose who you want to give your child to. For their own good. You might want to give him or her to your parents, or if they have problems, that they've past down to you then they're probably not the best choice. In other words, if you are acting out because of the way you were raised, chances are your child will too, being raised by the same parents as you were, plus an addicted mother and father..

If you won't leave your boyfriend and take on the role of motherhood in a clean and sober manner, and your parent's are not a good choice, you might think about letting your child be put up for adoption, where they have a chance at a real family. The child will understand, and the family that receives him wants nothing more than to dedicate their lives to raising a child. There are so many good woman on this site that are prepared in every way to have a child, but just can't conceive. There is an open adoption where the child would be able to get a hold of you, in the future.  

I think the fact that the baby is kicking so much is because he is on cocaine. His/Her body is much smaller and only a small amount of cocaine will get them much higher that you are getting. Of course, they don't know what's happening, it's just like administering drugs to a lab rat at this point.  Lab rats are used to find out what the consequences of drugs are purposely. You must have heard people talking about the inhumane testing on lab rats? People no longer sit by and allow people to abuse animals, and children, like they used to in the old days.

I hope that you're not defensive about me talking to you about adoption. It doesn't sound like you're ready to have a baby, does it? It's an option that would give your child a good life. Lots' of love, from other siblings, and Aunts and Uncles and Cousins. A home, holidays, travel, a post secondary education.

The way I figure it, the baby your carrying right now is moving in between his little body, and heaven where he came from. Let's face it, he probably needs the break from the drugs that you're sucking into your body. There are many that believe that when you are born, you forget where you came from in heaven. I suppose so that you bond with your mother. and father if you've got one. But this is God's child, it doesn't stop being a lab rat and start being your child until you discontinue abuses his or her body mind and soul. It's just a science experiment at this point. And if you are unable to love this child, he or she will live without love and be scarred. Feeding and putting a roof over the childs head and saying that you are a good parent, is ********. Parent's , your parent's my parent's my son's parents who think that all there is to it, are bullshitting themselves. These kids are all alone, in this world and they have no one that truly cares about them. They may be confused about it when their young and defensless, but by the time their about 12 they know what's going on. The ******** won't fly anymore.

So, what do you want to do? Do you want to be a reasonable person, and remove yourself from this abusive situation for your child? or do you want to throw the baby out with the bathwater? (maybe it's too late anyway, maybe i still have a few more bowls that i can get away with).

You mentioned that you went to RI this month. So, you left your bf to go home did you? and then went back for more. (and i say bf very loosely, because a guy who won't let you get clean when you think you have no where to go, is far from a friend). If you were serious about your child, and your parent's aren't drug addicts, then you could have stayed with them, right? There's also shelters for pregnant women on drugs if you'd care to look. Have you even considered going to a shelter and getting away from this type of abuse?

You've reached out and asked "What do I do?". It's obvious, you call a shelter and tell them the conditions that you're living in while pregnant. You go home and get clean. You go to rehab if you can. You go to CA if you can't and talk to other addicts that have gone through rehab and know the score. You put down the pipe, and grow some balls. And what you don't do is to casually throw away another addict whose been clean and sober for 14 years. You make friends with addicts and you grow up and listen to the cold hard facts of life. Are you the underdog?
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3060903_tn?1390303996
PS. Crack cocaine is very expensive to be smoking every hour, I know. If your boyfriend won't stop using in front of you, because you want to quit for your baby, and you run out of $$$ for this very expensive addiction, whose *** do you think will be sold for cheap for his drugs, if not already? You need to take this very seriously, God is watching, and so are all your dead relatives. Make the right decisions. Follow through on the sense you have, when you said you wanted to quit, but your bf was sabotaging you. Get to a shelter and save your baby, and your relationship with them. You'll regret it every single day, 24/7 if you don't. I speak from experience. Make the right choice honey. This is your life. This is your child's life. Get the hell out of there NOW. Go back home. You're not stealing this boys child, he is only capable of being a sperm donor. Don't get confused.
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Avatar_f_tn
Wow!  Love and agree with every word that you just said!  As a mom I say "Thank you!". As the aunt who raised my niece because my sister couldn't put down the needle, I say "God Bless You!".
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Avatar_m_tn
Some advises have already been given to you gemini. I also want to add that don't delay now. I agree with going to some private therapist and tell him about  problem and your fear. Just be strong. you're gonna do just fine. I'll include you and your child in my prayers. Best of luck.
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Avatar_f_tn
It's better to stop now than never. :)
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