Why?

I'm 43 yrs old and still drinking alcohol like when I was a teen. most of the time once I start I can't stop till the end of the night. I disappoint everyone that loves me including myself. I've tried so many times to stop but have not been able to completely quit.
So my question is why is it hard for me to stop this wicket cycle?

[atthebeach]

hello and welcome.
have you been to therapy and/or support groups to help prevent relapse?
do you consider yourself an alcoholic?

[OpenMind24hours]

I can identify with you. I've recently been there with Alcohol. Congrats on reaching out for help!  One day I decided to do what you just did. I stopped trying to solve my thinking with my own thinking and tried someone else's thinking instead. And I found truth and honesty in people who've been exactly where I've been. Those people helped me to accept myself, accept life on life's terms and I no longer drink and drug. I just want you to know that getting to a point where you simply don't have to use Alcohol anymore, or even WANT to use is very do-able. Just let us know if we can help.

[OpenMind24hours]

Very sorry Liza, I forgot to answer your question: When we drink for a long time (as in years) we gradually become less tolerant to alcohol. A small amount alcohol has a greater effect on our pleasure center and we find we can't stop after one or two drinks. "Our drinker gets broken" a dear friend once described. One drink leads to a drunk with me. I have the disease of Alcoholism.

[lizanight]

Yes, maybe I need life long therapy cause I grew up in a very dysfunctional family. My father is a alcoholic and was a violent one when I was growing up.
  And, yes I've been to A.A but for some reason after three or five months I relapse.

[lizanight]

Thank you OpenMind for your concern and advice. Just want to say that yes would love help but going to AA has help but I always relapse after 3 to 5 months. my craving always get the best of me.

[atthebeach]

hi liz, i am glad you posted again. growing up in a dysfunctional home can leave much pain, wounds and scars in your heart,mind and soul.
you need to take care of you. dont let your fathers legacy  become yours also. please break free of the chains and bondage of alcohol.you need to continually work a recovery program, sticking with aa, going to counseling, exercising,finding a hobbby, church, spiritual counseling,also going to alanon because you have an alcoholic father.
alanon is for the family and loved ones of alcoholics.
here is the website.  http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/

there is also adult children of alcoholics
http://www.adultchildren.org/

there is always someone here to talk with. we want to encourage you and support you. my alcoholic uncle lived with us my whole life, i saw my mom
enable him. i married a recovering addict, he relapsed and send my life and our 4 childrens life into hell for years. my 2 oldest children have abused drugs, my 21 yr old daughter is now in rehab.
i hope and pray you will find the strength, peace and love you are searching for to help keep you clean and sober.
sending prayers and hugs,
debbie

[OpenMind24hours]

Hi Liz, I also go to Al-anon, my daughter is in recovery. I'm powerless over someone else's alcohol and drug using much, much more than my own using. For my own using I have a solution thank you God!

Here's my thoughts on the AA meetings: I have a disease. The main symptom of my disease is the fact that it manufactures the thought of using Alcohol every now and then. When it does, soon half of my brain will start to tell me it's okay to drink. And, if I don't get to a meeting at least every 48 hours or so, the other half will start believing it! I actually heard that at a meeting. If I didn't go to the meetings all I will hear is my own thinking, which is how i ended up needing to go to the meetings in the first place! (go figure) And If I don't surround myself in the atmosphere of recovery, and take the steps they outline that are necessary to change my thinking -completely- I'll drink again. With our disease our heads' always out to get our butt.

The disease is the answer why, and there is a solution to the disease. You have a good course of action you can follow, and we'll be with you every step of the way. Try getting clean again, but this time with us, along with meetings or any aftercare you want to try. You can do this Liz. God bless, we hope you decide to get well. -Robert