I am new to the group & was hoping someone could give me any info at all on suboxone for opiate withdrawal? I really don't even begin to know where to start with my story, but I am severely addicted to opiates & am starting to mix pills not even knowing if it's safe or not. Recently, I tried my first upper which was adderall so now I am dealing with that as well. It's like I am now just looking for anything to get me thru the day without feeling depressed and so physically sick that I can't even get out of bed. I hope Im not talking in circles, but I am just so desperate for help right now....Im "up" one minute and "down" the next...in tears and suicidal most of the time now. I feel so hopeless, empty, and alone & wonder if I will ever get my life back. Im going to stop now....as I am in tears again as I type. PLEASE.....ANYONE who has any advice to offer, I would be so grateful!!! I have a wonderful husband and 2 very small children ages 5mos. & 2yrs. and the only way I can take care of them is if I am taking some kind of opiate pills or now the adderall. I am soooo far into this addiction that I feel I will never be able to beat this thing, but I have got to do SOMETHING for my children & my husband who feels so helpless as he has never had addiction problems & works at least 80% of the time. It is so unfair to them dealing with my mood swings and depression, etc. Sometimes I honestly feel it would be better for them if I could just have the courage to O.D. Its crazy how I want to just "end things" sooooo badly but yet have a FEAR of dying! Although, I can sadly say that lately that "fear" is fading fast.....Im don't mean to sound like a "pity party" to any of you on here....just hoping & praying that someone can tell me that they have honestly been thru this deep darkness & actually been able to recover. I have tried sooooo many times to quit or taper & can never get thru more than 4 or 5 days before I am so sick, depressed, & suicidal that I just give up. I can't go to rehab as I have no family to keep the babies & my husband can't lose his job of course. It's now even worse since we have recently moved out of state for his job transfer...meaning I have no friends to even help as obviously we don't know anyone. Any suggestions??? And thank you in advance to any of you that can help at all....
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