I was heavy into percocets back in june for about 2 months I was doing 3 percocet 30's a day so that was 90mgs of percocet a day, each fix just got better thru-out the day and it made me forget about everything and the euphoria was overpowering to me, I decided to quit cold turkey near the end of July that was hell the withdrawl was just about unbearable to me and the depression kicked in very hard, very quick. I was finally out of that and my ******* decided after having a horrible day the best thing to do would be to blow a percocet...well that turned into a relapse and now I'm stuck..once again...I'm hiding it from my boyfriend he's pretty naive about what percs make you look like when your high..I guess he is to assume I always look like this..is rehab necessary? cause I heard when you relapse getting off them for the second time is way worse then the first..im scared and don't know what to do..
hey there just read your post and It was like reading a page from my past ones. I too was taking same meds just 10 to 15 a day no matter how many how high the miligrams its all ADDICTION...I too end of may first week of june of 2010 went cold turkey after almost 16 months of everyday use and almost died and I too after 21 days felt like crap, depressed, felt like my nerves were shot to H3LL ...I take 1 mg xanax for anxiety and have been for 10 years take 2 maybe 3 a day never once have I abused them?? but i did the worst thing I ran into my supplier and she was all hugs and BS but I gave in met her at Barneys for a cup of coffee and within an hour we were in the bathroom snorting a Roxy 80...I told myself "just this once" well that was the end of june 2010 and I started my addiction path all over again this time worse than ever....so from June 2010 until April 18th 2011 I was a full blown sick bi___tch and I entered a Methadone clinic april 20th because I knew if I went cold turkey AGAIN...I would kill myself....seriously!! Today I am 119 days clean and I only ALLOWED myself to go up to 40 mg in the methadone I did my homework before entering there doors...I start coming down 5 mg a week starting Monday until I am down to 2 mg every other day then I AM DONE. you will hear allot of stories and 95% of them are true about Suboxone and Methadone but I chose to do this my way I chose never to increase my dosage like so many addicts do I chose to start decreasing....MY CHOICE not anyone elses. so I wanted to share with you my story because yours sounded just like mine even down to my HUSBAND never knowing I relapsed till I told him but he is so happy he has his wife back my son 15 has his mom back and I am proud of who I am today. methadone DOES work as long as you realize it IS JUST AS addictive if not more and the withdrawals from Meth...yep worse than what we've ever experienced with percocets...BUT if you read everything about it educate yourself FIRST you will succeed as i did IF YOU CHOOSE to go that route???? I stand in a line every morning with people of all walks of life, teachers, lawyers, MOMS (me) moms to be which is sad to see, homeless people, some smell bad some look BAD but the point is WE are all the same-Well Some of us are some are there to get high off of Methadone as they have become addicted to it, relapse then they are back in line ...that is NOT my goal I want to be complete with this clinic I will continue to go to my support groups Na, AA meetings I have a sponser and i work the program if ya dont you will fail...I hope this 44 year old gave advice to someone so young that can beat this before you are my age??? Good luck and if you ever need to talk just send me a message It goes to my email and I will reply...promise:-)
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