So I'm a 29 year old female and, well, this is the first time I've shared with anyone that I am seriously addicted to Vicodin, Percocet and even Morphine. Pretty much any painkiller. I started taking them about 3-4 years ago. I have struggled with addiction my whole life. At 15 it was pot, booze and LSD. I stopped that at 17 then it became cocaine. Stopped that at about 26 then it became Opiates. I guess you could say I have an addictive personality, ha. Here's the kicker- I have the most incredible Mother, Aunt and Uncle in the world who would give me their left leg if I asked. I've put my mother through hell since high school and when I quit eveything I was doing before I (seriously struggled) graduated it was with thoughts of her and my little cousins who look up to me that was my only motivation to quit. After that it was short lived before I started drinking like crazy. I want to feel more confident that I can kick this before I really open up to them. I know they'll help, but I need to be able to be honest with them about my intentions before I subject them to this ugly, ugly, desperate side of me!!! So back to now, I have been taking up to 200mg hydrocodone/oxycodone a day. I've gone off and one a day or two when I've run out of money and I'll spend up to $400 every two weeks. I have constant connections who will even front me pills until my next payday. God this is making me sick to read this as I write. I feel like SUCH a JACK*SS!! I am so ready to quit!! This is ruining my life, body and bank account and while I'm terrified of being completely sober, and can;t even begin to predict my crazy state of mind if and when that happens, it NEEDS to happen!! My heart is breaking and I just feel so ashamed, embarrassed and scared. So well I guess this is the first step, to admit all of this. And to be honest, once I hit 'Post' here, I think I'll feel a bit liberated and hopefully less alone in this. Any comments or support from anyone about going through withdrawls (Ive spent hours upon hours reading about that as well as other peoples stories and struggles!!) would be incredibly appreciated!! Thank you so much and the best of luck and love to everyone with similar stories here!!!
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