Any parents of heroin addicts here?

[freakedoutmom51]

Hello,
   I am a mother of an 18 year old daughter who is addicted to heroin.
   She, like many others, started out on oxycontin. When she became immune to the higher doses of oxy., she started snorting heroin. Of course, I had no idea she was using until I found out by accident after she had been doing it for many months. We immediately put her into inpatient rehab. We could only get a total of 18 days inpatient and a total of 4 months outpatient covered by insurance and other available services.
   We thought she was doing well, and she of course, learned to hide it very well. If I hae learned anything from this whole horrible experience, addicts are devious, amazing liars. She managed to pull the wool over not only OUR eyes, but the outpatient counselors eyes as well! We just found out the other day that she relapsed and is now shooting heroin for 3 months.
   Finding this news out is both devistating, and hurtful to me and my husband. We feel we have given her all the love and support, counseling, and treatment we could. We even started trusting her again, which I thought I would never do! How could she do this to us???!!! I understand it's the drug that is more enticing than pleasing your family, but the hurt is overwhelming.
   We put her in detox and this is only day 3 for her right now.
   I wondered if there are any other parents out there who can share their feelings, frustrations, and stories with me.
Thanks.

[themother53]

I'm in the same boat with my daughter.  Day 7.  Horrible, no words.

[strongerone]

Deb,
It was hard to come back on but I needed some support today so I read the recent posts and it is helpful to see some positive progress for some of the parents. My update is not so good.
I was busy during the holidays and I didn't see my son until yesterday. I met him to give him some warmer clothes. I wish I hadn't done it. He looks terrible and I am worried he is just killing himself. So thin and ragged looking. I can't stop crying as I type this.
What if he is so far gone that he can't pull himself out of this place? I thought and hoped he would come to his senses sooner rather than later but he just listens without responding when I tell him I want to help him get into a rehab program.
My heart is breaking and I can't believe there is nothing I can do to fix the peril he is in. It feels like I  am walking in the darkest night surrounded by the deepest sadness. I was doing OK until I saw him. It feels like I am watching him die in front of me.
I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I have turned him out to sea with a leaky boat and I am standing there watching it take on more and more water.
I am sorry I am so broken right now. I just don't know if I can do this much longer.  

[Deb179]

Thinkin of you hon...Hope your doing alright.

[Deb179]

Hey there, been looking for you, glad your here !!!

WOW...32 days !!!
I am SO HAPPY for you, for your son.  
Im sure you're finally finding some peace now, its a big relief, on this end also, to know your in a better spot
I think of every one of you here daily, yes, my friends, you will always be :)

When you get a chance, fill us in ?  
LOVE to hear good stories, we all do :)
Stay Close...
Sending a Hug to You !!

[Liriomorado]

I'm still hanging in there. Thing are going good with my son 32 days clean. A lot has happen in between. Thank you God and my friend Deb on this site.

[Despiratedad]

Most insurances will cover inpatient treatment including medicaid.  The trouble is getting your child to stay there until they detox.  If your child is under 18 then you can check them in and "try" to make them stay...you just about have to stay with them so they don't run.  We chose to go to the emergency room where they looked at us like junkies but gave us some less powerful opiads.  They did not stop the detox pain but helped reduce it.  We started off with 10mg Vicodin and slowly reduced (over a week) to 5mg.  My daughter was in horrible pain and agony...something I think she NEEDED to feel!  Fortunately we live in a place where there was no place to run and we stayed with her every minute for a week and almost every minute the second week. She lied and HATED us!!  The anger coming out of that child was unholy!  Even after the second week she was angry and horrible to be around.  She blamed us for everything and all we were trying to do was help.  I got some good advice from an addict...she told me that while my daughter was going through that was time to just be a loving dad!  Do not judge her...do not question her...do not argue with her.  Give her hugs and tell her you will be there no matter what.  It was great advice not only for my daughter but for us too.  It took much of the burden off of us.  She only wanted to stay in bed.  She only ate very little and irregularly.  She did not want to be around us.  We would not let her out of the house.  She is over 18 and could have done anything she wanted...but, I told her that it was a one way door.  If she went out, she could not come back.  Hardest damn thing I've ever had to tell my child!!!!  She bought it!  Once she had detoxed, the anger and hate was still there.  I went to our doctor who only knew to use Suboxin to treat heroine addiction. I had learned about Naltrexone.  It's an opiad inhibitor.  It blocks the affects of the heroine.  This is SO important because of this:  They will have that drug in thier body for almost a year.  It lives in their fat cells and many things can cause it to jump out again.  It was explained like this to me:  Heroine is a living thing.  It is doing everything it can to survive in her body. The only way it can do that is to get more...that is why the cravings are so bad! It will cause her to lie, steal, and put herself into horrible places to get more for it to survive. Enter Naltrexone.  In Europe and Australia they have an implant that lasts 6 months.  It is a one year treatment.  The 6 month implant would be a god send...but, in the U.S. the FDA has not approved it.  Here it can be taken in pill form like suboxine or methadone.  The problem with this is that she can skip a dose and use heroine and then use the pill when she cannot use.  This is the way most use suboxine or methadone.  We found Vivitrol.  It is a Naltrexone shot that lasts a month.  It is a 12 month treatment as well but in shot form.  Medicaid and most insurances cover it.  Mine did.  We talked with our doctor and she had not heard of it but was willing to do whatever we wanted to try.  We ordered the shot and it was given to her.  The shot is expensive $1200, but, on the Vivitrol web site has a $500 coupon and is covered by insurance.  The shot has been reported to be painful...it can be.  A drug rep taught me how it should be administered.  It has to be refrigerated which makes it thick and cold.  Take it out of the fridge the day before it is used...let it get to room temp.  Have her lay on her side.  My daughter says it didn't hurt at all.  
Here is the conclusion...in a single day...her entire mood and attitude started to change!  By the second day we had our daughter back!!  It was blocking the drug from her brain.  She was thinking clearly aagain and not wanting to run anymore.  If she used now, she would get nothing from it...it would be blocked.  For us it worked!!  Sheis in the middle off the treatment and she has a job and everything is going well.  I hope this helps and maybe you all can get to a place where this could be tried!  Don't just listen to a doctor...they only get 4 hours of addiction training in Med School...it's not their fault.  Some of them actually make alot of money off of Suboxin and therefore will not entertain anything else.  Suboxine and Methadone work...but thee user has to WANT it to work or it can be abused.  As long as this shgot is given monthly, they will not use and they can get their head clear enough to think logically again. Let me know if I can help anymore.  I know what you are feeling and it is horrible.  You can get through it.  There is hope.  TELL your doctor what you want to do and if they won't then find another that will.  I talked with counselors at detox centers, users, and doctors.  I was given the number to a drug rep who educated me about vivitrol...