I am on this blog because this is all I have right now. My 18 yr old son is a heroin addict. I had my suspicions for months he was doing something - I never thought heroin though - when he swore to me he wasn't using I believed him, because I wanted to believe him, though I knew deep down inside he was lying. I haven't really slept for a couple of months worrying about if he was or wasn't using. Last week, I made one comment, I told him if he ever wanted to talk to me about anything I was here for him. Of course, he came completely unglued - accusing me of always being suspicious, always asking questions. About an hour after his outburst, he started crying and told me he had been using for about 2 months, he wants to stop, he can't, he just wants to feel normal again. Part of me died inside and part of me felt relief he finally told me and part of me knows my nightmare is just now beginning. I think he's been using for more than 2 months - I noticed signs about 2 months ago. The signs I noticed:
Not eating - my son used to be a health food nut
Not showering for 2-3 days - he's one that it was not abnormal for him to take 2 showers in 1 day
Spending a lot of time in the bathroom
Friends he has had since grade school - doesn't talk to them anymore
Money - he works and for the last two months has spent his entire check within a couple of days
Candy - the one thing that I noticed immediately - an obsession he developed with candy
We've seen a doctor - he's on suboxene right now - on a schedule - and will taper off each week and the plan is to be off the suboxone in 30 days. Withdrawal from suboxene is not going to be easy either. I pray this works.
I here because I have to get this off my chest or I'm going to go crazy. I still haven't slept well and my family - my sons family - knows nothing of about this, though I would like to be able to have support through this I have none. My son at this point doesn't want them to know right now, doesn't think anyone will understand - he's probably right.
I've learned a lot in the last few weeks and still have a long way to go. I just needed to get some of this off my mind.
hello and welcome to MH. that is good that your son came to you for help that he felt he could confide in you and that the lines of communication were open.
I understand the fear, uncertainty, questions and hurt that you have. vent away, ask questions, tell us your fears. many of us have been where you are with an addicted child. we are hear to listen and tell you that there is always hope........
have you been to alanon meetings? you will learn about enabling? you will receive support and encouragement from those who have walked before you. you will learn about addiction and what you can do to have healing and restoration in your life.
we get just as sick as them. addiction is a family disease. we get sick physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally.
do you have someone you can confide in family, friends, a pastor?
it will really help to expose your sons secret, it will help with his accountability and help his chances at staying clean.
does he also have counseling, support groups incorporated into his program with the doctor?
recovery is a road that needs to be walked each day, he has choices to make each day, recovery is accomplished one day at a time.
recovery is a marathon not a sprint.
it is essential that he change the people, places and things associated with his use. he should have a healthy diet, exercise, church, meetings, things in place to help prevent relapse.
please take care of you. you need to have a healthy diet, exercise, see a counselor, attend church, counsel with your pastor, sleep is important to your well being, massages, plenty of fluids.
there is peace, there is healing, there is hope.....
your son needs to work through his addiction and you need to take care of yourself.
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