My best friend age 27, has had alot of history with crack, but i think quit for awhile(who really knows). He got kicked out of his parents house, so I let him live with me. It's been about 4-5months now, and I'm really thinking that was a mistake taking him in. I should have known this was going to be an issue, but I thought he quit.
I caught him using crack about a month ago and he WOULD NOT admit to it untill I threatened to kick him out. He kept lying to me and swearing up and down that he wasn't. When I said I'm this close to kicking you out he finally told me, "yes I was using crack and I don't know why I lied to you, you are my best friend and ill never do it again." Lie or smoke. I told him, "If I EVER catch you using crack in my house again, your gone!" He agreed.
Soo a month or so later (now) he was acting sketchy again. I asked him, "have you bought or used crack since we had our talk?" He replied no and I made him swear on his favorite grandmothers grave. I believed him bc of this kind of.. Thenn he left his phone out, so I looked at his texts and sure enough he had just got some crack that very night; I KNEW IT! I know he smoked it all and then this morning im almost positive he got more.
This is my best friend, but I do not want to be around this and I think it's ****** of him to put me in this hard position. Do I really kick him out like I said or what..
Please help if you have any experience with this. I am sooooo mad right now I just want to beat his *** for lying to my face AGAIN..
he is an addict and lying is part of the game. Until he is ready to stop you are helpless to help him. IMHO...the longer you let him stay...the less likely he will quit. It is YOUR home and your rules. Most addicts will use anyone they can (even your best friend) to keep using. It does not make him a bad person..just a bad friend right now. Hate the addiction..and do what your gut says. Let him know that you care for him, but cannot allow him to continue to use you. Let him know you will help any way you can once he decides to get clean. Then show him the door til that happens.
I have dealt with this for years with my own mother. My own mother has stolen money out of my purse while I'm sleeping. Borrowed money, looked me dead in the eyes and promised to pay me back and then disappeared for months with no contact. Stolen valuables from me such as cameras and electronics and pawned them for drugs. And even smoked crack right in front of me when I was 17. She has been an addict for over 30 years, even after 5 years in prison she went back to it. I have learned that you cannot help someone who does nor want to be helped. Sad but true. It is a vicious cycle. You must think about your own safety, and drugs being done in YOUR home is not okay. Doesn't matter how close you guys are, their addiction will always come before anybody else. I say as hard as it seems, kick him out.
If he is smoking crack...lock up all your valuables before they are gone....my boyfriend stole everything electronic from me and my daughter and lied right to my face over and over before I finally figured out what the deal was. He said he had a problem back when he lived in another state and when he met me he thought he could stop. Well he couldnt stop, and I was in love with him and it hurt me very badly. I could not understand why he was doing this to me when all he had to do was tell the truth. Im in recovery from opiates and understand how hard it is to get clean, but crack is the whole new monster that gets ahold of the person and turns them into something evil. You need to get him out of your house before he ruins your life. Get him into a program or in patient somewhere. I turned my boyfriend in last month because I came home and he had stolen my daughters Wii and all her games to get high...then hid his pipe in her room. He has to get help or get out!!!!!
I know this is a hard thing to deal with. Just know that you are dealing with the ADDICTION right now and not a FRIEND. You are enabling him to do what he is doing. He is using your kind heart and friendship to manipulate you. Kicking him out will not make you a bad person or friend at all. It may actually make something click inside of him that says.....That's really ******* up for me to hurt my friend like that. Remember: If you don't stand for something you will fall for anything. Good luck and keep me posted.
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