Addiction: Living with an Addict Community
Desperate
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WELCOME TO THE ADDICTION: LIVING WITH AN ADDICT COMMUNITY. This patient support community is for family members and loved ones of people who are substance abuse addicts. Discussions cover how to help your loved one, enabling, coping with the emotional impact of addiction, intervention, and when to seek medical help. If you are not a family member of a substance abuse addict and instead need help with your addiction, please visit our Addiction: Substance Abuse Community to get the support you need.

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Desperate

My niece has her daughter, son-in-law, and two children living with her.  Iniatially it was to be temporary until hubby found a job.  She discoverd they were both on drugs that started out as pain meds due to an injury.  The addiction esclated to Herion.  My niece (the mother) has been unable to to do anything about this problem becasue she fears the children will be placed in foster care.  The family has been trying to help her make better decsions about this problem and exercising tough love, however it all comes down to her grandchildren and she is not accepting the role she is playing in enabling there addictions.  I'm very worried for all of them and as an Aunt I don't know what to do to help without alienating the family.  Does anyone have a smiliar situation and how did you resolve it.  There is a lot more to this saga but it would take hours to write.  My other concern is my sister lives next door to all this mess and its affecting her health.  She is 81yrs old in the throes of dementia and its getting worse because of the constant turmoil  My heart is breaking and my hands are tied.  
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These addicts are screaming out for help, you just can't hear them, first of all, and their kids are screaming out for help for themselves and their parents, but are being kept n a co-dependent relationship. l. Heroin addiction is a bad place to be. First of all , it often ends up in IV drug use, with other people involved giving you shots, and that equates, more time than not with HepC, which is what my husband and I both found to be the case with ourselves, when we finally got to a rehab to get clean and sober. So, hopefully, right now they are smoking the heroin, and haven't had other people come in to the mix, because most heroin addicts will look for the fastest way to get high, and IV drug use is just that path.

If your sister, can keep the kids, while their parent's get some help, that would be the best scenario. Usually, kids are kept with the family, and not in foster care, if at all possible. These parent's need to be given a loving intervention, where one or both may come down earth long enough to say yes to treatment, hopefully. Is there insurance for either of them to get to treatment? I have heard of someone here talking about a treatment centre that is free, and i've started to look through my posts to see where it is. Are either of the addicts employed? It is well worth it, to travel out of state to get to a treatment center. I'm from Ontario, and went stateside to treatment. Maybe either the mother or the father, are more capable of receiving help, than the other. You only need one parent to get this family back together. You need to search for free treatment rehab's in the States, if there's no insurance. Having an addictions counselor on board, would be helpful for an intervention, but one thing for sure, these kids need to be protected and kept in a health environment, "First Things First". The children have to be the priority. By enabling a couple of heroin addicts, the odds are significantly higher that there's going to be a crisis, that will be life changing for everyone involved. Your sister will possibly live in regret for the rest of her life, and you somehow, with an addictions counselor probably, need to get through to her. If you can't, getting involved with CPS or the law, would help get things moving in the right direction. The thing is, that if and when there's a heroin overdose and the police and medics are called in and it becomes apparent (maybe the addict will talk, yeah, but it was okay with my mom) then your sister will not be considered a viable place for her grandkids to be and that choice will no longer be on the table. You're family needs a lot of support, and although NarcAnon or Alanon might help you to accept this abuse, it's not reasonable to walk away and wash your hands of this. The kid's again, need to be removed from this abuse, even , if it means being kept in foster care, and giving her parent's an opportunity to get better, and get back to them. I had my son removed, I quit, went to rehab, got a job, got a sponsor, went to meetings, got blood and urine tested every second day for two years, got a lawyer, bought a house, got married, and got my son back. So, leaving this "as is" is going to end very badly (in a body bad possibly), or with a HepC (cirrhosis for both parties), or, with some tough love, the other things that I mentioned that make a lot more sense for everybody. I'm in your corner, you're in my prayers, if you need to talk. God Bless you for having the courage to ask the right questions. May God give you the strength, now, to follow through.........Liz
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