What is detachment where addiction and alcoholism are concerned? I had a terrible time understanding that detachment doesn't mean abandonment and it doesn't mean that we're making a negative judgment about our addicted loved ones. I also had to learn the difference between healthy detachment and unhealthy isolating. Ouch! Here's some info about it from Al-Anon. Hope it helps someone...
Alcoholism (addiction) is a family disease. Living with someone who has this disease is too devastating for most people to bear without help.
Detachment, a recovery tool for the family in Al-Anon, helps members to help themselves.
In Al-Anon we learn individuals are not responsible for another person's disease or recovery from it.
We let go of obsession with one another's behavior and begin to live happier and more manageable lives lives with dignity and rights; lives guided by a Power greater than ourselves.
In Al-Anon we learn:
1. NOT to suffer because of the actions or reactions of other people.
2. NOT to do for others what they should do for themselves.
3. NOT to allow ourselves to be used or abused in the interest of another's recovery.
4. NOT to manipulate situations so others will eat, go to bed, get up, pay bills, etc.
5. NOT to cover up for another's mistakes or misdeeds.
6. NOT to prevent a crisis if it is in the natural course of events.
Detachment is neither kind nor unkind. It does not imply evaluation of the person or situation from which we are detaching. It is simply a means for us to recover from the adverse effects of our own lives of living with someone afflicted with the disease of alcoholism/ drug addiction. Detachment helps families look at their situations realistically and objectively, thereby making intelligent decisions profitable. (I wonder if "profitable" is a typo? "Possible" seems like a better word choice here!)
You went when it was time. All we can do is give advice as it is up to each individual to decide when enough is enough. Had i taken all the advice thru out the years things would of been different for me too!!!
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