Do not judge.

[Tljw]

My boyfriend is an ex heroin addict. He's on methadone for his addiction. He's going to be off methadone by the time our baby comes into the world in October. I do know herion is a life long addiction and that it will always be at the back of your mind no matter what.

Anyone know what fentanyl patches/pills are ? I don't know. But I've seen it mentioned in texts to people on his phone. Is it some kind of heroin?

Well I was looking threw his phone last night and I seen texts to his cousin asking about these pills/ patches.. And that his cousin could get him some of he needs. Which threw me off guard because he has promised me he wil not do any kind of drug. His cousin was mentioning about snorting them and that it is an awesome high or you can shoot it.

How can I ask him if he is doing drugs again with out looking like a idiot for looking threw his phone and knowing ? I do know when I get home from work today I'm going to look at his arms to see any needle marks.

I know if this continues then I'll have to be a single mom to my baby. And let him have no part in his/her life.

[Stuckinarut1970]

I was on oxys for 6 years, clean for 3, i got weak a couple weeks ago and started taking 1000 mg norcos. So pissed at myself very disappointed. Getting clean was the hardest thing to ive ever had to do, dont wanna get sick again

[BrynnM]

She is so right! He has to come to complete terms with his addiction, and he has to have the desire to change, and for all the right reasons. If he can accept and acknowledge that HE has this problem, that is the first and most important part of him recovering. I am speaking from personal experience as I have battled with addiction for several years and nothing changed for me until I realized what it was doing to my life and those around me. He will have to change his behavior as far as who he socializes with, especially until he has reached a point in which he no longer even has the desire to numb himself, emotionally and physically, with any drug. I've read that statistics say that more than half the population is addicted to something, which says a lot about our country and the various aspects of life that we all have to deal with daily. I'm sure he is past the point of really getting "high," and is most likely using to avoid getting sick. We stop growing emotionally when we use drugs that affect the pain receptors in our brains, but the desire to stop has to start with him. Educate and prepare yourself as much as possible and never feel guilty for checking his phone...some may argue that it is a violation of privacy, but when someone is abusing drugs and has a baby on the way, it seems to me that they aren't emotionally mature enough to have a right to privacy...especially when it concerns finding drugs.

[Nighthawk61]

Thanks Deb

[Deb179]

Totally agree with you nighthawk !!!

[Nighthawk61]

If it were me i wouldn't let him know i saw the texts, he'll just make sure that there's no more information on the phone, or your access toit is denied.

I would wait it out, for a week or two, and see what the texts look like then.
For instance, if he is texting his cousin to pick up the patches, or talk about using them, then you would have more to work with to get him to go to Rehab. As it is right now, it's only in the planning stage
if it was after the fact, and you had a lot of information, maybe even about other stuff, you'll be in a better position for an Intervention.

That's just what i'd do tho.

Sorry this is happening to you  and the baby.

[Deb179]

Hi to you
There is never judgement here,  each of us here, have some form of addiction in our lives
I'm so sorry your learning about addiction in this way,  its very shocking and hard to understand in the beginning, we don't want to face the facts our loved one could be doing this
The first thing we need to do is let go of our denial, and educate ourselves.  The second is to learn to put you first.  It isn't easy,  but it has to be done for you and your baby.
Everyone above is right...fentenyl is extremely dangerous ( as most hard drugs are) especially when shot up, does the same as heroin. It is meant to be time released over days, for that reason there is no way to know the actual amount they are shooting up.
You have alot of proof just by the text, as it was mentioned above, if you ask him,  be prepared for lies,  anger, aggression. ..they don't want to be found out.  I'm sure you've seen signs, nodding off, extremely tired, aggression,  pin point pupils. As for finding marks, we think the arms would be the most obvious spot to look, my addict was my son.  He would shoot in his hands as they were always beat up, also his feet, until he no longer cared who saw the marks.
the only one that can change him will be him and it doesn't come easy,  nothing you say or do will do that for him.  He needs to admit he has a problem and seek help. ..his life,  your life and your babies life will be in a very bad spot until he does.
We're here for you,  in addition find as much support for you as possible.
good luck sweetie, just know your not alone

[Wobby65]

Fentenyl is among the strongest opiate pain medications. It frequently come in patch form, which enters the system slowly over 3 days. Snorting/swallowing/injecting the contents of the patch can be DEADLY, as it's meant to be time-released. Heroin is an opiate, just like many prescription pain meds, such as Fentenyl. While he may be off the heroin, he intends to use the Fentenyl to get high; doing so with Methodone can be extremely dangerous.

Addiction is a hard thing to control, and being a single parent is a hard thing to do. You, however, owe your baby and yourself a life free of drugs and, more concerning to me, secrets and lies. I am so sorry you are going through this, but it's time for your boyfriend to get right or get out. I'm not judging him...he clearly had a problem, but that doesn't mean it had to end up being your baby's problem.

[Yesidid]

No doubt fentanyl is a strong pain medicine. Heroin is made from opium and pain medicines like these work in the Exact same way. So yes fentanyl and heroin are very similar and it is Very Very common for heroin addicts and prescription pain addicts to switch over. You boyfriend is not recovering. He is an active addict who is not shooting up at the moment but that is Not a sign of recovery- just a sign that he might be trying to convince you (and himself) that doing this is somehow better. Also the street price for prescription pain medication is very high and it is just as addictive as heroin. It's not a new path - it's a circle in the cycle of opioid addiction. Good luck and God bless.

[Addictedtolove]

As someone who admitted the my heroin ex bf (when we were together) that I looked through his phone...I'm not so sure you should admit that.  My "sweet" bf turned into a complete monster and turned everything around on me.

Honestly...if he is using again...he could be physically dangerous. You being close to finding out the truth may just be the thing to do trigger that. And if you confront him...he will just deny it. They always have a perfect story to explain everything it seems.

Also...you don't need him to admit to much, do you? The proof is in the texts.

[brihunt]

because it has the same ingredient that gets you high as heroin

[Tljw]

Plus his cousin said to only do a little because it can kill you

[Tljw]

Why would he be abusing pain medicine?  What does he need it for?  I did notice about 6 months ago he was asking some girl on his phone for the patches. I believe he puts those in his mouth so they disolve. But I didn't think anything of it because I didn't understand the whole addiction drug abusing topic.
But now I'm super worried because he's close to his cousin who knows how to get them which is easy access to this drug now. And his cousin telling him the the snort is an amazing high makes me angry.

When I'm off work I'm going to ask him about it.

[brihunt]

What is fentanyl?
Fentanyl is an opioid medication. An opioid is sometimes called a narcotic.

Fentanyl is used as part of anesthesia to help prevent pain after surgery or other medical procedure.

[brihunt]

those patches and pills are pain meds look it up on drugs.com its given to people with severe health issues

[Roxxxy915]

Maybe google what that is... & yeah , ask him. Cause , if he doesnt change your gonna stress & nor you or the baby need that. & the baby doesnt need a bad example either. GoodLuck!!

[Jassy10142015]

Just be forward with him and admit you looked in his phone. What can he do? Get mad? He's the one going back to his old ways. I'd simply say "sooo what is fentanyl and what do you need with it?" Let him know that it's his family or the drugs... he has one of two options bc it sounds like he's relapsing, he can go to treatment or not be apart of his child's life.

[cef1990]

I don't think you are the one who needs to explain why your were looking through his phone. You did it for your baby's wellbeing and that doesn't need an explanation. Just ask him outright and say you saw the messages. If you've already made your mind up that your prepared to be a single mum if he doesn't stop/change then I would say there shouldn't be a worry about how to approach the situation. Just ask him.

[Octmommy2015]

If you are genuinely worried he's doing it then his opinion of you going through his phone is the least of your worries. Just fess up and say you saw his texts to his cousin and need yo know what's going on.