Extended Care

Hi everyone.  Next on the agenda, convincing our daughter she needs extended care.  We have a place lined up for a 90 day stay but she thinks she can stay clean without extended care.  She truly wants to stay clean but she's in denial and wants to believe her issues are behind her.  If she turns down extended care, she will have to do it without our support.  We fly out tomorrow morning and will be gone a week.

[sadmom999]

I forgot to include in my previous post,  she has been officially diagnosed with depression, anxiety and PTSD. Due to these diagnosis she needs specialized treatment.

[LIZZIE LOU]

hope all goes well.

please remember that she has only been there for a month or so...and her addictive thinking is still in there.  just her "thinking" that she can do it alone is plenty proof of this.

i remember the day that my son (#3) came to us and asked if we could send him to long term treatment.  it was on that day, that i knew he was on the road to recovery.  he was only 18...had been to rehab and extended care before...but had relapsed and had spun out of control again.  this time, it was him that was asking for help.  he committed to a year long program...one that taught the addict how to LIVE again.  the longer they commit...the better the chance.

pull from the strength and knowledge that you have gained...good luck ! ! !

[sadmom999]

She's been clean for a little over 2 months so far.  I realize this is just the beginning, but the month of jail in the beginning gave her a head start on being drug free.

[Sonrissa]

Hi Jane! I think that extended care for your daughter is crucial for her long term recovery and success! I'm praying that you will be able to convince her that this is the next step in her journey, and that it is critical!  You both continue to be in my prayers! Stay strong and travel safe! Please let us know how it goes! Big hugs!!

[dominosarah]

I hope she will come to terms with her addiction and realize she NEEDS to stay long term.

[sadmom999]

She will go.  She knows she needs to.  She is just feeling nervous about it being 3 months in a new place with people she doesn't know and feels bad it costs so much.  She felt that way before rehab too but when she had been there a couple days she actually liked it.  Never mentioned leaving once.  

[nowtruelove]

ive spent 2 days  reading all  your post  about your daugther and ur family .   its truely amazing  what a wonderfull mom u are !! :)  ...  i think u should post a picture of your  family  or maybe your daughter and you ?   it would be neat to put faces with this great story ...  unless  your not comfortable with that .    

i pray and wish your family the best !

[dominosarah]

Jane, what are you doing for aftercare now??  Are you taking care of yourself yet?  You should know by now i would be asking this again!!  lol

[sadmom999]

Thank you so much.  I would love to post a pic when I get home.  Thanks again for the good wishes.  Hopefully this will end well.

Jane

[sadmom999]

Sara, you're the best :-)  Always thinking about helping me.  I'm not concerned at all about myself but should be.  Tomorrow we are meeting with the doctor at the extended care facility and she's going to give us the short version of what we have done right and wrong.  Also, advice going forward.  Also, the next day family weekend begins and we will begin our Alanon meetings, along with lots of other meetings and counseling.  When we get home I'm going to continue to go to Alanon.  Hopefully this will give us a head start and I won't feel like its such a big deal after this week.  

Thanks for caring <3

Jane

[Sonrissa]

Hi Jane, I myself will be very interested in the information and advice you receive from the doctor at the Extended Care Facility! This could help not only you but a lot of us as well! I'm wishing you the very best and a good visit with your daughter! Take care, and as always my thoughts and prayers are with you and her!! Big hugs!

[nowtruelove]

i keep  checkin back here!!  im so waiting for an  update :)
i hope everything is going good :)  prayers

[dominosarah]

How are things going Jane?

[sadmom999]

Things went very well in Colorado.  The education we got at the rehab was invaluable.  We are definitely following up and joining an Alanon group here at home.  The family weekend was hard work in a way, but in another way, it was actually fun.  We met the funniest, nicest people and also hearing other stories made us feel like we were not alone.

She is doing very well but as we were told, needs more therapy and clean time before she goes out on her own.  She would not agree to go to extended care right away.  She felt she needed to make this decision on her own and is going on Monday to check in.  We are doing out best not to enable her.  We did extend our hotel room until Sunday night for her and are allowing her to charge food to the room until Monday.  After that if she does not go to extended care she will be on her own with no support from us.  Her ex-boyfriend is talking to her again and they wanted a couple days to spend together before she checks herself in.  He is very supportive and has told her he thinks she should go for more treatment.

She has a great attitude and is very thankful.  This is the best she has been since this whole thing started.  Let go and let God.

Jane

[nowtruelove]

im glade u made it back safe !!   and everything went well ..    :)    i really hope ur  daughter   goes  to extended care ,  in my mind  its a must for everything she's been through .       make sure u take care of urself to  :) ..  keep us updated !

[littlebit667]

It sounds like you have done all you can at this time.  I hope she continues to make good decisions for her life.  You can be proud.

[atthebeach]

hello back my friend, i thought of you often.
wow i didnt realize when you were going that the month of rehab. would be over. it seemed to go fast.
i am glad things went well for everyone.no you are definitely not alone in this........  
so glad you found some support and was able to connect with other families there. so great to hear you quote an alonon slogan. 'LET GO AND LET GOD".... yes mam... good for you wanting to continue back home.it is really is very helpful and eye opening.
that is nice that her old bf came around again.
i will continue to pray for her recovery...
keep the faith...
hugs
debbie

[dominosarah]

Any updates on how she is doing?  Is her court proceedings going as planned?

[sadmom999]

So far, so good.  She's hanging around the hotel, swimming and going in the hot tub.  She's going on the computer at the hotel too.  Her ex wasn't around yesterday or today but will go visit her tomorrow.  He's also driving her to rehab on Monday.  She's answering the phone when we call and sounds really good.  I slept like a log last night, for the first time in months.  Instead of waking up at 3:30, I slept till 8:30!

Her preliminary hearing was postponed until mid-September.  When that day rolls around her psychologist at the rehab will go with her and speak to the judge.

So funny, she said something "smart" at family weekend and another addict chimed in that it "looks like the hamster is back on the wheel"!   Meaning her brain is waking up quite well :-D

Jane

[nowtruelove]

im excited  to hear  everythings going well  .   i hate seein  people destroy there lives  and not even realize  it ,  till  all the damage is done .    its so sad to me .    but   i lookin  up for your daughter :) and hope she continues  her journey  to a life she deserves .

[sadmom999]

Debbie, Sara and everyone,

Update on extended care...  She wanted to postpone going to check herself in and we knew something was "up".  She was sitting in the lobby of the hotel on  check out day not knowing where to go.  We called the extended care place and they went and offered her a ride and she accepted.  Thank God they love their job and truly want to help people.  If someone else had picked her up before they did, it would have been all over.  She had relapsed and when she got to the house they tested her and she tested positive for opiates.  She went to detox for one night and is now settled in at extended care.  She, of course, had the choice of whether she wanted to go or not and she chose to go.  We are so thankful for all the help our daughter received and hope she chooses to make the best of what she's been offered.

Its Alanon for us tomorrow night.

Jane

[akitagurl12]

hi,
how did she get opiates?  Do you know?  She has come so far, glad she is still fighting for her life.  

[sadmom999]

I have no idea how she got heroin.  Where there is a will, there is a way, I guess.  She had stopped the day before because she would have been in detox for 48 hours if she had used that day.  She was only in detox for approximately 12 hours when her test came up negative and they transported her back to the extended care house.  I haven't spoken to her and don't have any other information, but it seems like she was "saying goodbye" to heroin before checking in to the 90 day program.  It was almost out of her system when the hotel authorization ran out.

[akitagurl12]

oh, i thought she was still in rehab, thats why i was confused!  Yes, you are right, we can find our drug if we want it bad enough.  I do think 90 days will really help her.  How are you doing?  You have been so strong throughout this:)

[dominosarah]

Bottom line is she used again.  That is not a good thing.  There are better ways to say goodbye.

[sadmom999]

So true, Sara.  She was clean 75 days and now she's back at day One.  

Akita, I have seemed pretty strong, but inside I'm a nervous wreck.  Getting better though.  I'm doing ok.  Yesterday was really hard but its good to know she's back in treatment.  

[atthebeach]

oh my LORD, when does our nightmares end?
when do they truly decide to choose life?
with all they have been through, they go back.
just boggles the mind.
i am right here with you my friend.
alanon here we come.
hope,pray,trust

[akitagurl12]

i often wonder the same thing.  The addicts in our lives are not new to the game.  They have past that point where getting high is even enjoyable anymore.  Only God knows.  I guess the best thing for us is to do is not live their nightmares too.  It is just so damn hard sometimes.

[sadmom999]

My daughter said to me "Do you really think using heroin is fun?????  It ISN'T."  It is not enjoyable.  Ugh.

[LIZZIE LOU]

" She felt she needed to make this decision on her own and is going on Monday to check in.  We are doing out best not to enable her.  We did extend our hotel room until Sunday night for her and are allowing her to charge food to the room until Monday."

i remember reading this and wanting to shout, "NOOOOOOOOO".  

[sadmom999]

Stupid.  That's all I have to say.

[Curiuos_Joe]

I hope your daughter stays clean after extended care. Its sad that she relapsed again.

[sadmom999]

Thanks.  Prayers are being said and fingers crossed...

[sadmom999]

Stupid (as in we were) for paying for the hotel room in the first place!

Anyway, Alanon was good tonight.  Not the right group for us but still a good meeting.  

[atthebeach]

Working your recovery........ awesome..
Very proud of you...

[dominosarah]

Keep looking as the right group is out there.

[sadmom999]

We are going to a different group tonight.  

[atthebeach]

did you feel more comfortable at that group?

[sadmom999]

Debbie,

Yep.  This group was a wider range of people, old, young and everything in between.  Also the people who shared were good speakers and the meeting was well organized.  The one 2 nights ago, the speakers kinda rambled and the meeting seemed more "mechanical".  

[dominosarah]

This one sounds like a much better fit.  I am glad you are continuing to look with an open mind!

NOW........are you eating and drinking your WATER?

[sadmom999]

Yes maam :-)  I'm a lot less mummified now, LOL

[dominosarah]

Hopefully your other daughter will hack into your computer and we will find out if you are really drinking other forms of liquid(water and such i mean) besides coffee!!!!

[sadmom999]

HEY!  :-D  I'm ok, lol.  You never give up Sara, that's why I love you!  

[dominosarah]

Im on to you sister girlfriend!!!  lol