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Halfway: near home or not?
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Halfway: near home or not?

My daughter (21) is in FL about to be released from inpatient for shooting heroin. We live in NJ.

She's terribly homesick; she's been down there since September and she needs to choose whether to come up here (about 90 minutes from our house) for halfway or stay in Florida.

We miss HER terribly but want what makes the most sense for her recovery. Do we interrupt what's working and convince here to stay down there or have her come up here? She did relapse already in FL, a few days after she entered a halfway there (this is her second trip to inpatient recovery in 8 weeks).

Anybody have any experience to share?
Tags: Getting halfway well, sober living, halfway, Florida recovery
7 Comments Post a Comment
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186166_tn?1385262982
when she comes home...she will be right back where it all started.  her "friends" are there...her dealers are there...her triggers are there...her drug life is there and will be looking her right in the face. may be that her enablers are there also.

in my opinion...the longer she stays away...the better.
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Avatar_m_tn
Thanks for your reply--but the place I'm talking about is 90 minutes from here. Too far for her old friends to invest any gas/tolls I think. You think?
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4452088_tn?1354840364
Hello, thanks so much for your sharing here. I too have a daughter who is trying to become clean of heroin...She is back in rehab as of last Sat.(.6th time since Feb) She too has done half way houses upon discharge but once he gets to 50 day mark max shes back out...for her it has proven not to work right now, and again one has to "want" it, no matter.She has been most successful at the half way houses out of our area, 60 min out, as opposed to the one 5 miles away...everyone and every situation is so very different..I seem to feel that in our case there seems to be an important step missed, discharging from a very secure rehab enviornment to a pretty much indep living ,unsupervised for the most part,aside of a house manager )in her experiences,to watch over anywhere from 5-14 gals all trying to stay clean...I wish you all peaceful paths, and will keep u all in my thoughts and prayers ;)
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Avatar_m_tn
A lot of the time half way houses can be crack houses. I personally never did well in a halfway house. This is probably because a lot of the houses I went to were filled with people selling the best drugs around.

The people who run halfway houses are typically ex addicts themselves and are good manipulators. They want your money. Same with rehab centers. If your going to spend money on a "safe" place for someone to recover rent a house in the middle of no where and take away transportation. Away from friends, and sources of drugs. Pay someone to deliver food and other needed items. You still will be saving money compared to rehab.

In my own opinion this is a much better option then rehab, halfway houses etc.
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480448_tn?1403547723
No doubt this is a difficult decision, but I agree with Lizzie.  Even though it's 90 miles away, that's still close enough for her to possibly be triggered, and possibe for her friends to make the trip to bring her stuff.  That can happen anywhere, but the closer she is to her connections, the more temptation there will be.

How long will she be in the halfway house?  Isn't it typically 6 months to a year?   If it's for several months, perhaps you could compromise and do the first half there, then the last leg closer to home.  If she's planning on continuing to live in your home town, it may be helpful to have her closer to start the transition process back home...but the first part, I think she would be better off where she is.  Just something to consider.

Lizzie knows her stuff..she's been down this road many times...she would be a great person to ask for specific advice.  If she's saying it would be better for her to stay where she is...that's probably the advice you'd want to take.

As for the above poster's concerns, I'm sure, like anything, there are good houses, and bad ones.  Do your homework, ask questions, make unscheduled drop in visits to assess the house.  Also, be sure that the house is being recommended by the rehab facility.  There's no guarantee, but if you do your homework, chances are, you'll find a good place.

Best of luck!
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Avatar_m_tn
Thanks, everyone.

She ended up in a smaller one with a "mothering" house mother in Florida and so far, so good. @nursegirl6572, it was recommended by the rehab. Good advice, otherwise she'd really be feeling around in the dark.

Now to find a job...

The plan is to stay there four months or so, then move up here 90 miles away from home. Eventually come home (or a lot closer).

She tells me that 1) drugs are easily found anywhere if you want them and 2) her friends wouldn't go to the trouble of driving 90 minutes to drop anything off to her--there's no need to and they're obviously not great friends in any case.

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Avatar_f_tn
My husband wasnt dealing with heroin, but meth. He came home from an inpatient program. I was hesitant at first on letting him come straight home. So far things have been wonderful. My biggest concern was being in his area of using. But he has been clean for almost 5 months. Still very early recovery!!!!  Help encourage her to make meetings and tske pride in her recovery with her! I try to encourage my husband daily. Have you tried any nar-anon meetings? My area only has al-anon but it has been a great partvof helping me cope
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