Help! Boyfriend's Vicodin Addiction is ruining our relationship

I believe I posted in correctly and should have posted here.  So I apologize for the duplcate message.  But here goes:

My boyfriend and I have been together one month short of two years.  We have been through alot, mostly what most couples don't face until after being together for years, but through all the stress, pain, arguments, etc., we are still together.  He knows and has said how loving, loyal and supportive I am but I am at the end of my rope.  When we first met, he was taking vicodin for his back.  I never saw that it was progressively getting worse but after he moved in, I noticed alot of mood swings which really got to me.  10-11 months into our relationship, he confessed he was addicted so he went to a family member in another state to get off of them.  I gave him his needed space, wrote him showing my love and support, and I was proud of him for doing what he did.  when he came back, he was like a new person, his personality was unbelievably happy and free.  I told him I never wanted to go through that again, couldn't actually, and he said he didn't either.  But gradually, as life got in the way, and his back pain became unmanageable, he talked his doctor back into giving him a montly prescription (he was honest with his doctor when he got back and didn't get a prescription for a month or two).  The addiction has been so slow to happen again that I guess I fault myself for turning a blind eye.  I wanted to believe that he could m anage it this time.  Fast forward to this summer - when I got rear ended in a car accident and started needing my own prescription (first time in my life).  I only took them when nothing else would work (chiropractor, heating pad, etc.).  Well, he would ask for my extra's each month.  And he'd get extremely moody if he knew he was running out.  Several months ago, I noticed some missing and a huge battle ensued.  I was actually led to believe his daughter took them...until he confessed.  I was so angry, betrayed, hurt, yet I forgave him and told him something had to be done.  Looking back, i forgave him way too easily.  Because now it's happened again, different scenario, different way, but I know he took them from me.  This time, however, he's not admitting to it, claiming how could I call him a liar, etc. and he's considering ending the relationship because I don't trust him.  I tried to talk to him calmly letting him know that I'm there for him, I care about him and concerned for his health but that just made him angrier.  He left for work this morning without saying goodbye (that never happens) and I have not heard from him.

I'm preparing for the worst but, I guess I'd like tohear from others who have either been in my shoes and what can I do to help (if anything at this point) and I'd like to hear from others who have been addicted because I'd like to understand what happens in your mind, and how you can hurt the ones who care the most about you.  

Am I a fool for not wanting to give up on him?  Maybe I won't have a choice, maybe he's already made up his mind.  But I'm lost, hurting like I never thought I could hurt, never thought he would put me through thisagain, but I can't stop loving him, I've seen what a beautiful person he can be if he would just believe in himself.

Thank you

[scaredwife75]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. My husband is addicted to pain pills (although he's in denial), and he just left me on Saturday. You can read my post on here.

It's awful, these drugs and what it does to them. This is the first we're going through this, and it's only been a few months. But it's just a nightmare and I don't know what to do, either. What's helped me is having people to talk to. I went to an Al-Anon meeting yesterday and it helped. I cried through the whole thing, but they were so supportive and understanding and kind. You really need help for yourself to get through this. I'm only days into this process, but I can tell you that for sure.

Sending you hugs and encouragement.

[scaredwife75]

I'm thinking about you. I don't have any answers, but I'm hoping you're ok.

[Helplessbutinlove]

Thank you so much.  I just wrote out a long reply but I didn't realize I wasn't logged in so it didn't post (at least I don't think so).  I'm so sad right now I have to write it again later.  But I feel for you as well and I'm sorry that you, and apparently so many others, go through this, including the ones who fall victim to these awful things.  I heard my boyfriend crying and he hates being on these things, he knows he's addicted but can't stop and can't stand the pain when he doesn't have them.  I'm done enabling him but when I don't, he gets so angry and says such hurtful things.  Am I helping by staying with him or making it worse?  At this point, I don't think it would phase him if I left.  But it's killing me, he's hurting me so that I don't know how much more I can take.  I want to be supportive, I know he wants off of them.  He even has an appt. with a  back specialist soon so I'm praying there's hope.  

I'm angry that it's so easy for people to get hooked on pain killers.  

How are things with you, have you spoken with your husband?

I may go to a mtg. tonight for the first time.  Last night was great and this morning talking on the phone, he was a completely different person which is what it's been like living  with h im.  I don't know which one I'm going to get every time I see or talk to him