I am only 20yrs old and married and have a 8month old baby. My husband is a meth addict. He lies to me about almost everything. He leaves at night and doesn't answer his phone. During the day he says he's going to "the store" and comes back empty handed EVERY time. You'd think he'd be smarter about it. Also he spends all hours of day/night that he is home in garage. He tells me he isn't on anything... LIES. What the hell can I do?? I am on my last straw with him. I am seriously thinking of leaving him in divorce and finding someone worthy to be husband/father. I refuse to let my son grow up in this situation. I really would like to try and make it work for my son to have his parents together, but I don't know what to do anymore :/ Help please.....
"I refuse to let my son grow up in this situation." Continue to have this be your bottom line. Your son needs your protection, and enabling an addict is a very poor example. It's a great bottom line.
I think you should check out NarcAnon, and get schooled in enabling, and the importance of forcing your addict to find help. In order to love an addict and help an addict, you must force him into getting help. He may or may not do that, and that's the hurdle you must make. You do need a man worthy of being a father, so does your child. If you ever need to talk, please feel free to message me. I'm an addict that's been clean from hard drugs since 99. An addict wanting to keep his family together will "go to any lengths" Don't baby him, continue to expect him to "step up" to his responsibilities and you'll be doing the right thing.
I know he is doing meth, because about a year ago we moved out of his home town and he got sober for a few months and finally admitted after 3years that his drug of choice is meth and he's been doing it very often. We moved back to his home town and I know he is currently doing it now, because he stays up for a few days, always wants to be by himself or around his addict friends, and after a few days he sleeps A LOT and starts having ******* attitude for no reason. I told him I want him off the drugs, he says, and "I do drugs because of how I am treated by you" He keeps trying to convince me I am the reason.. and everyone I know, KNOWS that I am only trying to help and am a good wife. He is just BLIND TO IT.
Are you saying that he locks you out of the garage? That's a tell.... I wouldn't live in a house where there was a room that I couldn't go in, that's for dang sure.
Are you able to change your living arrangement? Do you have support?
If he's in the garage day/night, does he work? Where would he get $$ for drugs (if he doesn't work)? Maybe he's selling drugs in the wee hours? Maybe he's seeing another woman? He's doing everything that's not acceptable, that's what you do know.
Most times addicts won't change until they're left little choice. He may have the disease of addiction, and need help to get it under control. If you choose to leave because he's essentially "locking you out" of his life, and you have an 8 month old, maybe this will be his reason for changing? Stranger things have happened. Plan for the best, (Alanon) and expect the worse (lawyer). But whatever happens, congrats on the baby, and get by this to enjoy your life with your child. Think about you, your education, your job, play dates, and supportive friends and family. Soon it will be time for daycare, and kindergarten, and grade school, all exciting stuff. Another partnership, another child with a healthy man? You just don't have time to worry about somebody whose locking you out of their lives. Time for you to lock him out of yours, i should think.
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