Addiction: Living with an Addict Community
I need help.
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WELCOME TO THE ADDICTION: LIVING WITH AN ADDICT COMMUNITY. This patient support community is for family members and loved ones of people who are substance abuse addicts. Discussions cover how to help your loved one, enabling, coping with the emotional impact of addiction, intervention, and when to seek medical help. If you are not a family member of a substance abuse addict and instead need help with your addiction, please visit our Addiction: Substance Abuse Community to get the support you need.

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I need help.

My husband and I have been married for 3 years now. We had been together for 10. As of last year I realized that my husband had a serious drinking problem. I have been trying to help but t isn't working. He is also a pathological liar. I thought he getting better but he just got better at hiding it. I have tried to be the nice guy, then the mean guy, then I reached out to his family. But they swept it under te rug. Cause they are the image people an they don't want people knowing that there is an alcoholic in their immediate family. I want him to talk to my grandfather because he has been there but I don't want him together angry. I am here now because he told me he was clean and sober and I just found another 5th of whiskey in his truck. He drinks that in about 3 days. I don't know what to do. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
3 Comments Post a Comment
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Avatar_f_tn
Hi,

I am so very sorry that you are dealing with this. I was married to a drug addict (who struggled with alcoholism) and I found that it was not helpful reaching out to his family. It turned into this blame game, where he pointed fingers at me so his family felt it best that they stay out of it. I am imperfect but fortunately addiction is not something that I struggle with.  It was heartbreaking for me that they were not able to help, and it made me feel like I was so alone.

I suggest doing whatever you can to help build yourself up. Its hard dealing with being lied too. Its hard knowing if its right to be the "nice guy" or the "mean guy". Also, it would be good to seek counseling, especially if your husband does not want to talk to your grandfather.

Best Wishes to you!!!!
B.N
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495284_tn?1333897642
There is nothing you can do for him, he has to be the one to finally stop the drinking.  Do you handle the finances?  If you do i would tighten those reins a bit.  Have you thought about attending Alanon?  They have been thru or are going thru the same thing you are.  It is important that you keep your sanity during your hubby;s insanity.  Keep talking with us.
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Avatar_m_tn
You need to support him mentally and encourage him not to drink as it is harmful for both of you. There is nothing more than this that you can do. he need to understand by himself.
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