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Just needing some advice
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Just needing some advice

My housemate is one of my best friends. She's a bit older than me, but we get along better than I have with anyone else in the world. I love the woman to pieces, but I hate what she's doing to herself. She started smoking crystal meth or "ice" about six months ago. At first it was just experimenting. She'd never really been into drugs before, except a bit of pot now and then. A friend introduced her to ice. At first she was smoking it maybe twice a month, if we were going out and she wanted to be up all night, but soon it became an every weekend thing, and eventually a few times through the week as well, when she had days off work.

Using hasn't affected her schedule much, which is a great thing. She hasn't missed a day of work because of it, and I'm so proud of that fact. She maintains that she is in control of this addiction, but I'm having doubts. She will smoke up all weekend until the night before she has work, then she'll stop, spend a few days coming down, until she has another day off, then she'll smoke up again. It may not be affecting her professionally, but I can see so many cracks forming in her relationships with her family and friends. If she's not high, she's coming down, and that means she's incredibly moody. She snaps all the time, and she's losing her sense of humor. I don't know what to do. I miss her so much, but I don't know how to tell her that what she's doing is killing me. Every time I see her pick up that pipe I feel like I've lost her just a little bit more. How can I convince her that not only is she losing control, but she's slowly losing her friends as well?
Tags: Advice, Addiction, Smoking, friends, drugs
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5 Comments Post a Comment
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1972289_tn?1325881410
I'm really sorry!  It is hard to watch someone you love hurt herself.  Does she feel there is a problem or is this still something she enjoys and wants in her life?
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Avatar_n_tn
i.m 20 yrs recovered. if you find yourself trying to make decisions for her, or lie for her, get out it won't or ca't get better until she can help herself. it is a progressive diease. it always starts off as fun recreational. make discison base on what is good for you. good luck
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1775847_tn?1325720858
She doesn't think she has a problem. She makes jokes about herself being a "crack *****", and speaks lightly of her addiction, but no, she doesn't think that it's an issue. She definitely doesn't realise it's affecting the people around her.

It has started affecting her work as well. She's late almost every day, because her body is so sleep deprived she has trouble waking up in the mornings. Her boss isn't happy. She's a manager where she works, and she's supposed to be setting a good example for the rest of the staff, but she really isn't. I think she's going to lose her job soon, and there's not a thing I can do about it.

I've been talking about it with my boyfriend recently, and we've decided that we're going to get a place together, so I don't have to live here anymore. Then, once we're out, I'm going to try to talk to her. This way if she gets angry, at least I have somewhere else to go. If she does get angry, if she still doesn't realise she has a problem, then I'm going to speak to her parents. They know their daughter much better than I do, so I'm hoping that as a group we'll know how to help her. I really don't know what else to do about it. I just know I can't be around her anymore. Not like this.
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Avatar_n_tn
good for you, so it is affecting your life. that is only right thing to do for yourselk i wish you ggod lluck. i hope moving in with your boyfriend is a good soultion. make sure not jumping from the frying pan into the fire again good luck
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Avatar_f_tn
I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. I think you are on the right track by first distancing yourself from your friend and setting up a home elsewhere. I also think speaking to her parents is a very good idea. My son has been an addict for the last 12 years and there are sooo many times early on in his addiction that if he had a friend that cared enough for him and came to me with his problem I could have jumped in and possibly got my son help sooner rather than later. Maybe even an intervention my be in order. Meth is a very addictive drug and really messes your brain up. There's no such thing as casual use of this drug.

Your friend may not like you very much through this process but after it's all over and she is in recovery she will thank you for being such a good friend and for caring for her that much. I do suggest distancing yourself and talking to her parents. Maybe discuss intervention with her parents as well.

I hope this helps some and if you need to talk just post here or message me ... I have a really good ear and very strong shoulders.

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